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11 month old still not sleeping

bobbi01's picture
bobbi01

My 11 month old is still not sleeping through the night. He awakes at least once to eat, the last four nights it has been twice and within a half hour to an hour after the last bottle.
He is eating enough during the day, I know he is and he gets bottles throughout the day as well. I just don't know what to do, I am exhausted. He has slept through the night about five or six times since birth.
I was thinking of getting the "heatly sleeping habits, happy child" book, anyone heard of it, read it? Any advice? Just don't know what to do anymore!

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dragonlady's picture
dragonlady

My son went thru a spell like that when he was about two. Up until then he had been a pretty good sleeper. He had this little red toddler bed and would wake up so I would go and lie down with him and fall asleep myself and then get up and go back to bed. Now when I see that little red bed in the shed I curse it - that thing was murder on my back. Anyway, he would wake up a few times and I would do the same thing. I was so tired the rest of the day and he did it so much that in the morning I wasn't even sure if I had been up in the night or not it got to be such a habit. Then my husband would say, "You look like hell. How come you look so tired"

I really don't think that men hear anything between the hours of 12 and 7am.

Eventually he grew out of it. The kid, I mean, not the husband....

So really, I have no advice but I have sympathy!!!

mowong's picture
mowong

from four months, i always used the sleep, feed, awake, sleep, feed, awake cycles. i also found that this helped in weaning later on since the food/milk is not a crutch to fall asleep.

This is also what I did. The only time my baby eats before going to sleep is at bedtime. Good luck!

stylegirl's picture
stylegirl

i am also a big fan of the ideologies used in this book. i warn you though...it's not an easy read. i found (as well as a few other moms i know) that it's not written very clearly and seems contradictary in other places. however, if you can plug through it (which i know is difficult when you're sleep deprived), there are many good strategies.

from four months, i always used the sleep, feed, awake, sleep, feed, awake cycles. i also found that this helped in weaning later on since the food/milk is not a crutch to fall asleep.

have you let your 11 month old cry it out at all yet? i'm assuming that you get him right away since your other son is right next door. however, i suspect that your son might be doing some night crying and might go down on his own pretty quickly. he might be waking up again so soon after the first time because the bottle stimulates his system a bit and he has trouble hitting deep sleep.

anyway, good luck and remember whatever strategy you use, you're going to have to use it again (illness, travelling, etc.), but you if you stay the course, your long term results will be worth it. trust me, from a mother of a former bad sleeper to another!

Foxxy's picture
Foxxy

Foxxy wrote:
Letting the baby cry it out a few nights usually works. I moved the crib into the laundry room for one of mine but he was much younger and did not make strange with a change of rooms. So you may have to move the older child onto a sleeping bag for a few nights farther away from the baby's room. I do not think you need a book, just patience and perseverence. You do not need to feel guily about letting a baby cry /fuss it out. Good luck. :)

I did not mean to sound harsh, but I would start the "let baby fuss" nights now, the sooner the better. Buy yourself a pair of foam earplugs to drown out some of the noise. You are feeling guilty as you are tired. Amazing how a few good nights sleep will change all that. :)

Foxxy's picture
Foxxy

Letting the baby cry it out a few nights usually works. I moved the crib into the laundry room for one of mine but he was much younger and did not make strange with a change of rooms. So you may have to move the older child onto a sleeping bag for a few nights farther away from the baby's room. I do not think you need a book, just patience and perseverence. You do not need to feel guily about letting a baby cry /fuss it out. Good luck. :)

sunshn's picture
sunshn

I have a schedule/routine too and it really works with my little guy. That must be really difficult when you have another child in the picture. You must be so exhausted. I hope the book arrives soon!

After you are ready to start your new routine (i.e. no more night feedings), you may have to set up a temporary 'camp' for your other son and any other nearby family members at the other end of the house to minimize them being kept awake -- that is, if you decide to go the CIO method ( which by the way I have done, although it is sooooooo hard, but if done correctly and with consistency, you and your children will finally get a full nights sleep soon!)

good luck!

bobbi01's picture
bobbi01

We have such scheduled lives....we do everything at the same time everyday, got in this habit with my 3 year old and have always stuck with it. Meals, naps, bottles, bath, everything at the same time everyday.....he is just a little piggy I think but we will try whatever, it's just that his room is beside our other son's and I don't want him to wake him up so that's why I have always gotten up.

bobbi01's picture
bobbi01

for the tips!
My older son who is almost three was sleeping through the night at this age so I am just so frustrated.
My 11 month old sleeps like a dream otherwise, he goes down no problem at night and at his afternoon nap. His napping time varies from 1 1/2 to 3 hours. I just read somewhere about not putting them down right after feeding them because then they associate feeding with sleeping, makes sense and he always goes down for his nap after lunch and then has a nighttime bottle before bed. I will have to definitely rethink this. Anyway thanks again, i have ordered the book and hopefully soon we can start this!

mowong's picture
mowong

do you have a feeding schedule at all? I have used one from the get go, and from everything that I have read about helping your baby sleep through the night, a somewhat predictable feeding schedule is recommended. Also, I have read that snacking throughout the day is not recommended for babies. They should have breakfast, lunch and dinner and definitely a bottle before bed. My baby has a bottle with each meal, but I know that some of my friends only give 2 bottles a day, but their kids drink the same amount of milk as mine. Just thought I'd throw that at to you as well,

mo

mowong's picture
mowong

by Elizabeth Pantley is one of the books that I used a lot. This book got a lot of good reviews and I think it is pretty good, especially if you don't want to let your baby "cry it out". My pediatrician told me at around 6 months that my baby was big enough and healthy enough to make it through the nigt now and that I should stop feeding her. He told me it would be hellish for about 3 or 4 days, mabye upto a week, but to let her cry it out if I could, and if I couldn't then comfort her but don't feed her. A lot of books recommend giving your baby a soother or bottle of water to drink instead, with the understanding that eventually the baby won't think that it is worth it to get up for water. My daughter was never interested in the water.

With all that said (and read), we did let her cry and calmed her down when she went ape, and it took 2 nights of this. Every once in a while she'd relapse and we'd have to do it again. From our experience, I really think it takes about 2 days for their tummies to adjust, so they do really cry in the night because they are hungry, but their tummies have to be trained. It's a hard thing to do, but certainly worth it. Good luck and sweet dreams,

mo

sunshn's picture
sunshn

Dr. Weissbluth's 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child' is like my bible! :) It helped me tremendously ever since DS was 4 mo old. He's now almost 13 mo and I continue to refer to the book, since DS has never been a great sleeper. BTW, the book covers naps, sleep needs and sleep problems right up to adolescence, so I figure I'll get lots of use out of it. It's not a quick read, but full of sound, practical information and advice. Some of his solutions do involve CIO, but also gives alternatives if you don't want to go that route.

IMO, an 11 month old is capable of sleeping through the night, and I think the earlier you help him learn how to sleep through the night, the better you all will be. BTW, nobody actually sleeps through the night, we all go through periods of light and heavy sleep and sometimes wake up, but we all go back to sleep on our own. It sounds like this is where your child needs help, specifically, to learn how to fall back asleep on his own.

How are his naps? Proper nap timing and nap length are needed for good nighttime sleep, I believe (all covered in the book).

I wish you lots of luck and lots of coffee! :) With 'sleep training' (not a great term, is it?) expect some long, bumpy nights ahead of you, but try to remember its for the best that your child get the proper, consolidated sleep he needs, as well as you and your family.

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