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Aan

HHassist's picture
HHassist

It is tedious to have to remind you of this but highly trained and important people like myself do not see people except by appointment. I have many demands on my valuable time, including: an elderly father-out-law who needs pictures hung; two whining children who purport to "need" things before they go back to school; fresh sod which requires watering; a dog who has made herself ill by being overly greedy with her bone; a household which must be operated with the so-called assistance of an absent golf addict; and of course, self-employment, which, in my case, means I work for a miserable, demanding b****.

I see some time freeing up this evening, around 5:00 p.m., my time, perhaps I can pencil you in?

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Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

I was afraid this was turning in to the famous sofa thread.
Remember to turn the hay before you go to bed darling! Goodnight.

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

I can't agree with you more, and they're the best importers and exporters as well!!!
And on that note I'll have to say goodnight!! Thanks for the laughs Aan, you're the best!!!

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

He's European, and the Europeans have the best goods!!

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

....does your Count's cloak have a hood?

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

My Count always beats your Count, also in that area! :D
Good times.

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

This is like old times!! Boo hoo hoo!! Smooch smooch!! Now I can go to bed content, all wrapped up in my Count's looong cloak. You know what they say about counts who have long cloaks, don't you?:D

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

.......the Masai?

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

no mirrors allowed. I had a talking one once, and that only brought bad luck. Say hi to your mom whois really my sister who's your niece's daughter's sister in-law.

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

....just install floor to ceiling mirrors so you can be forever tortured by the look of my love's grief stricken face when he finds out how you tricked him into thinking that you were my sister, who was my mother, who thought she was my Aunt, who thought she was a Masai, who thought it was me!!!

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

Remind me to let me know what I should do with the Ball-room. I was hoping to re-upholster the chairs in red to match the damned spot.

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

It was hard adjusting to the gloomy castle but I really don't think you should hold it against me that he wanted me not you. Surely your Count's minor sidestep with the cross-eyed clump fotted stable boy was purely a result of his horrible eye-sight from the incident with my chiselled Count turned Duke (collected airmiles, got an upgrade).

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

....the stables were beautifully decorated. The walls were a soft honey wheat colour and the trim was Turret stair. Just to keep this conversation in topic!!

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

....somehow felt inferior about being a Blacksmith's daughter, and that was not him that was his son Albert!! You brazen hussey!!!!

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

You really shouldn't encourage him to do this with the Blacksmith's daughter as well, it's not, uhm, just a funny little game. It's not appropriate.

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

He hides underneath my skirt and says boo!! Another little game we play!!!

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

Mine can slice the tomatoes with his back turned, blind folded with his left hand, swinging the sword that was given to him when he was out fighting with the Masai warriors whereas yours run to hide behind your skirt anytime someone says boo!

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

He uses the tea to pour on his gaping wounds after sword fighting every piece of scum in town, where your count uses his sword to slice tomatoes!!!

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

Of course he falls over! His physique is laughable, absolutely a man who has spent his entire life drinking tea in front of the fireplace. Not like mine, who's clarly spent all day outside working hard alongside the peasants or riding his black stallion through difficult trails! Phew!

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

Of course he falls over!! We hit the floor simultaneously!! That's where all the fun is. But then again your count is a bit too stuffy for things like that, poor thing!!!

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

You mean when I lean my head on the true Count's shoulder, oh I'm sorry, I forgot, whenever you lean on Jimbo he always falls over. Yeah, not much of a man eh. Sorry though...

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

....only hear that noise when you cock your head from side to side!!

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

And there it is again!! Am I the only one that is hearing this??

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

Which throne are you referring to, the one in your bathroom?:D

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

As a professional schmoozer you should know it never stops, your pedestal must have been built too high, obviously deliberately creating a false sense of social comfort by your manufacturer.
I will have my people contact your people in regards to your 4 o'clock.

Can you hear that noise? I keep hearing a squeak. It might be that Elise again, although I can't be sure. From my throne there's an aweful long way down.

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

Ogres schmoozing with ogres!! and you call me a peasant!!!

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

My shmoozing opportunity was eaten up by an excess of work, which clearly resulted from my highly adept shmoozing on some earlier occasions. I am presently contemplating the benefits of de-shmoozing, in order that I may again have the opportunity to shmooze.

At this time I have a slot open tomorrow at about 4:00 pm, my time. That is, unless the dog pukes again.

Elise, worry not, all that was in the bucket was the water that did not get put upon the sod, and my children's tears over their mother's continued failure to fulfill their every need.

Being Superwoman is a barrel of laughs.

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

I apologize. As a very important person I was out schmoozing with other important people. I'm sorry I missed the alloted time that you had set aside for me, I see Elise tried to infiltrate the walls of Jericho again, I apologize on her behalf. A mere peasant.
If you would be so kind as to offer me a second chance, I'd jump at the opportunity...Grant it I'm not required to schmooze some more with other more important people.

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous

I am sorry to have to barge in on another person's thread, you know it's certainly not my style. But it is very tedious to almost shoot up to the sky in flames waiting for a response from your highness!! You could have shouted down from your lofty tower that everything is O.K., or at the very least thrown a bucket of water down to extinguish the flames which were threatening to engulf me!!!
People on fire, take precedence in people's appointment books!!!
Actually, now that I think about it, maybe it's a good idea you didn't empty the bucket over me as it would have probably been your dogs barf on my head!!!

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