Here's the problem: Said ok for the roommate to live with me temporarily, roommate has a cat, I forgot she had a cat, said ok, I'm not a cat person but maybe I could live with the cat temporarily. I was wrong. The cat is driving me crazy. Cat goes everywhere, on the kitchen table, kitchen counters, on top of the fridge, linen closet, dresser drawers. I've just about had it. I said its ok for the cat to roam in the daytime and I'll keep the bedroom doors closed but asked my roommate to keep the cat in her room at night so me and the kids can sleep with my bedroom door open. She's offended, said cats are nocturnal and have to roam. Am I being unfair? Can the cat not stay in her room at night? Can you train cats to stay out of certain areas or do they have to have the run of the house?
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I had a feeing this was a friend of some sort.
I feel your pain, Jalan. Depending on what kind of personality your friend has, you may not only have to establish but also continually reinforce those rules.
Question: if you are charging rent, do you have a signed lease in place? Hope so.
Best of luck.
good girl to get that sorted out before. Sounds like you have a bit of a case on your hands as well. I hope she is seeking help....very hard on you...do not let this drag you down.
The cat WAS locked in the basement until the basement renovation started. Boy was she upset about that! But now there's too much construction material down there. It is a separate basement apartment with its own entrance so our lives will be quite separate, but the girls...guidelines will definitely be put in place ie. her friend can come upstairs but she has to leave by a certain time, just like anyone else.
I think some guidelines have to be made even when they move to the apt. Like the number of hours the 2 girls spend together, time for Tv/music to be off, washer/dryer etc. if you are concerned about noise coming from the apt. Some rules for the cat too, will it be in the apt all the time or allowed to wander? Why can't the cat stay in the basment now...my friend has 2 cats and they are locked in the basment while she is at work. It is very hard to live under those circumstances without some guidelines in place soon.
Unfortunately,my roommate is my daughters best friends mom. Her and her daughter moved in because she was going through a difficult personal time. I was just trying to help! I thought we could be friends, but I see that cannot happen. We're so different in personality and we manage life so different. I just shake my head sometimes about the decisions she makes! You just can't be friends with everyone you meet no matter how nice they are. Not to mention I underestimated the effect on our lives of having my daughters best friend move in! Shes a great kid but it was becoming like a 24hr sleepover. Combine the different lifestyles (Her friend has NO bedtime my daughter has to be in bed by 9:00 pm sharp) and it was a real disturbance to our lives. Things are more under control now but its just tolerance until the basement apartment is ready. I want my house back!!
The roomie, hands down, will drive you more crazy than the cat.
It's very difficult to live with people, Jalan. Luckily she will be in the basement, so relatively separate from you.
Is she a friend? These situations can really test a friendship. I speak from experience. We have a friend living with us, and we're finding it very difficult. All the best.
From what you've said,I wonder who's behavior will drive you more crazy.... the cat or the roomie!
I made the decision to let it go. There's only about 3 weeks to go until the basement is finished and I'll leave it for now. Not to mention my roommate I swear is emotionally unstable and crys and carrys on everytime she is told something. But everytime I see the cat do something now I give it a good YAAH! no hitting though. The thing is I'm not home in the daytime when the cat is wandering and I know from experience (when I am home), that it will just go on the tables and counters anyway. sigh...I guess this is what its like when you have people live with you. Don't think I'll ever do this again. Thanks for all your advice, Renee.
Try not to dislike all cats. With some discipline, the cat should be OK.
Despite the tough message I posted earlier, I am a cat lover and I have owned a number of cats in the past. To me, they are very independent and lovable. I have never had a cat who climbed on the counters and table because it wouldn't be tolerated.
I think the main obstacle you will have with disciplining the cat is gaining cooperation from your roomie. Can you explain that you're thinking from a hygiene perspective - that you need to keep the kitchen counters and table clean as part of doing the best you can for your kids? And then maybe you can explain that she needs to keep the cat in her bedroom at night for safety purposes, so the kids don't trip over the cat if they're walking around in the dark looking for the bathroom?
My SIL brought her 2 cats over one time to show the kids and they went nuts all over the house. I had to have one kid stand guard to keep them off the counters and table while I got dinner ready. I ran myself ragged chasing them away. She was surprised they acted that way since she assured me they didn't do that at home. I have heard from 2 other friends that cats can do that when they are in new surroundings.
That being said it is still no excuse for the cats behaviour and I couldn't put up with it either. That experience with SIL's cats totally turned me off having cats.
I agree with what the other people have said about training the cats. Could you sprinkle or spray something on the counters that the cat wouldn't like so they would stay off when you are gone - say pepper or something. Just a thought.
to be honest, I'm really surprised by your response. I was really made to feel that I was unfair. I don't know anything about cats and figured this is just what they do and I've been really unhappy. I just about want to faint when I see the cat on the kitchen counter! Its a relief to know all cats are not like this, however, I think I'm scarred for life! no cats for me. But I love dogs. Jen jen what a cutie!
My cat is also very spoiled and is allowed to roam freely day or night..... I admit he even climbs on tables, counters etc. However he is perfectly content to sleep in one spot at night. I think your roomate needs to be more considerate of your feelings.
PS......when our cat was younger he was put into the basement at night where he was allowed to roam freely ..... he had a litterbox, food and water with him! He was also content with that arrangement!
Sorry, but if your roommate had children would they be allowed to walk on the kitchen table and countertops...........NO, I don't think so. Pets are no different, they all need boundaries, they learn and are just fine with that. Spoiled children are not happy children, and it is the same with pets.....If you have one old chair, or she does, allow the cat on that. That can be the cats place and they will learn that, it really is quite simple. A spray bottle will work well. Our cat sleeps at night, I think most house pets do. They will learn your rules, they just have to be taught.....
Good luck......Don't hate the cat because of a bad owner.....
Good luck.....
it's a facade (??sp)...didn't you see the cracked halo over his head....
tie him outside when you vacuum. Most dogs do not like the noise or the motion across the floor. They are sensitive to that.
all those animals and you are stll sane...ahhhhh...i have one dog and he drives me nuts...i can't vacuum cuz he barks..i can't sweep cuz he barks...he even barks at my swiffer broom...?....and i don't even get me started on the dog hair...lol
I have five indoor cats (ranging in age from 21 years down to 7 months), four birds that fly freely in the house ,had a german shepherd that just passed away,and I'm now critter sitting for the second puppy since Valentine's day.I certainly don't profess to know it all, but with the 'animal traffic' in this house (which I obviously love) I have found that all pets can learn new rules, even the old girl at the ripe old age of 21! The problem for you might be the amount of time you have to teach the cat, if this is not a permanent home.
I have used a spray bottle with cats and dogs but don't find this to be consistant enough, 'cause its not there when I need is and consistancy is the key.
For me, an abrupt loud PPPPSSSTT!! works as well as anything else (sometimes I bang anything in range as well).Some people shake an aluminum can full of rocks.
Your roomy has to be on your side as well 'cause CONSISTANCY is the key.It might be hard for you with the way you feel about the cat now,but animals respond better to people that show love to them. It seems they listen better and when they respect you(I know I sound nuts!) and know that you are doing it for their own good.
Please don't put him outside for the night if he is an indoor cat - thats the way many cats come to their demise(especially here - coyotes eat them) and you might loose your friend as well.
FYI - all five cats sleep with me on my bed. Their clocks work on the same time as mine. In fact my alarm clock is a cat named Tucker that gently paws my face to wake me up for tuna-time!When the door is closed a litter box has to be there.
Your roommate is being extremely inconsiderate. It always amazes me when people let their pets rule their lives, and make excuses for their pets. My DH's mom's dog kept biting our kids and she kept making excuses for it; she got so insulted when we asked her to muzzle or lock away the dog.
But back to your situation... Would you let your kids play with their toys and run around the house at all hours of the night? I didn't think so. So why should the cat be able to roam through the night?
In the end, it is your house and your room mate has to respect your rules.
yes, if the cat is closed in her bedroom all night, the cat has to have access to the litterbox.
I agree, it's your house. You have a right to say no cats on countertops, etc. We have a cat that we have trained (with the spray bottle and a lot of persistence) to stay off the counters - the spray bottle definitely works for most cats if you are consistent with it. Cats on the counters really bother me, also on tables, etc...
Our cat is nocturnal and usually goes out at night but when it's too cold we put her in the basement for the night (with toys, food, water, and litterbox) and she has survived. Some cats might not like it but I wouldn't feel bad about doing it for a few weeks, for sure!
in the room so it doesn't pee on the carpet? The litter box is currently in my powder room because of the reno. A little surreal to me, a litter box in my powder room, but a concession I agreed to make in the meantime. Should she move the litter box into her room?
Sorry to hear of your predicament. Your roomy isn't giving you the straight goods on cats. I grew up with cats and inherited my mother's love of the beast. I own two; one is 3 and the other is 18! Neither gets on kitchen counters, tables ,etc. They were trained from their youth to stay on the floor, and they do. Both sleep in the basement at night, with the door closed. Neither has a problem with that. Mostly they go to sleep in their baskets or on some old upholstered stools that are down there. They're fine with it and don't need therapy.
Regardless of what people say about cats being strong minded - trust me every living animal has a threshold level and you can train them - if you don't want the cat on the furniture and table top and counters - ask your roomate if they wouldn't mind you spraying a little water on the cat to let it know it shouldn't be there. I think I'd be more concered with the table and counters as you don't want cat hair in your food! I'm sure your roomate would be understanding. As for cats needing to roam during the night - it doesn't apply to all cats - my cat too is perfectly happy sleeping next to me all night. The cat will get used to having the door closed and so long as it has some food/water/toilet available while in the room, it will be just fine!!! Remember, it's your house and you're the generous providing a place for your friend to stay! =)
some may take awhile to get the idea of having to stay in a one room at night but it can happen. A crate may help with a fluffy cover inside. I know people who crate theircats when people come over as some are afraid of the Siamese. One of the Siamese leaps on you with no warning. The wine goes flying and and the crate is less expensive to buy than pay the dry cleaning bills. :)
on cat training. Cats can be very strong minded and every cat is different. Your roommate should try to keep the cat in the room at night. If the cat gets restless, in the room, give the cat some catnip to to distract him or her.
I'm a total cat person, not a fan at all of dogs. BUT, although I have a tendency to let my cats do everything they want to my DH's dismay.
However, I onced stayed a few months with my grandmother and I really had to train my cat not to go in certain room. I kept him in my bedroom every night. He was antsy to get out, as the world surely must be a better place outside the bedroom, but he got used to it.
I did feel mean at times, but in reality, it's really not being mean to the cat.
If your room-mate isn't willing to accomodate your rules, I would consider booting her out.
I'm finishing the basement for my roomate and it should be done in about a month but I'm really at the end of my rope with the cat. The cat is all over the furniture as well but the furniture is covered in plastic because of the renovation. It never occurred to me before the the cat would be everywhere.. I really need to hear from cat lovers on this.. should I enforce the cat to stay in her room at night or let it go..
My cat would be perfectly content to be locked in a room for the night. She always sleeps at the foot of the bed.
As for the roaming and climbing, i'd pick one behavior to correct at a time. Get a little water gun and spray the cat anytime it goes on the kitchen counter (that's just gross). Don't say anything to the cat, pretend that you don't know what happened. You don't want the cat to associate the water with you, but with jumping on the counter. Cat's can learn what they can and can't do, it just takes time.
Best of luck,
Lore
I think this roommate is being totally rude and inconsiderate, letting her cat walk on your countertops and go places you don't want it to go. If she lets her cat do that in her house, fine -- but she has to respect you and your wishes in your house. Which, by the way, sound totally reasonable to me.
I'm sure the cat can be trained to not go to the places where you don't want it to go to. But I think your roommate is the one who will have to train the cat, and it doesn't sound as if she's willing to change her cat's habits.
I think you really need to put your foot down and let your roommate know that you won't tolerate this situation anymore, and that either she trains her cat to behave or they're both no longer welcome in your house. If you don't stand up fo yourself, nobody else will -- be tough!!
FYI, our cats never go onto tables, counters, etc. (not that we're aware of, anyway!!) , and one of them sleeps on our bed every night. Neither of them roams around all night long.
no you are not being unfair...it's your house....as for the cat jumping up on the kitchen table and other places that it shouldn't be....give it a ''smack'...if your temp roomate gets offended...sorry but oh well...she is a guest in your house and should respect the rules of your house...if not...there's the door...don't let it hit you on the way out....JMO....i love cats but cats should NOT be on furniture....as for cats be nocturnal...that's a load of crap...i've had cats all my life and maybe i just had lazy cats but i found they pretty much slept most of the day and most of the nite...granted i'm sure they need to roam...but there is nothing wrong with you asking her to keep the cat in the room she is staying in...it can roam in there....