People making personal attacks on other users of the House & Home Forums will not be tolerated. We will be putting a 10 day temporary ban on user accounts of people that like to be mean. - Repeat offenders will be banned permanently.
Please remember this is a Home decorating forum, for family viewing and not a place for bickering and personal attacks.
This is a new policy that we're trying to make sure everyone has a good time here.
There is a "report bad post" button for everyone to use, if you feel that someone is being misogynistic or making personal attacks - hit the button!
- I'm very surprised i dont see more "thank you" post in this thread, as many many many people have complained about people being meanies.
(updated)
Comment Guidelines
We welcome your feedback on Houseandhome.com. H&H reserves the right to remove any unsuitable personal remarks made about the bloggers, hosts, homeowners and/or guests we feature. Please keep your comments focused on decorating, design, cooking and other lifestyle topics. Adopt a tone you would be willing to use in person and do not make slanderous remarks or use denigrating language. If you see a comment that you believe violates any of the guidelines outlined above, please click “Alert a Moderator.” Thank you.
there is some controversial posts on here that i dont feel need to be read by any new or potential new members.....the rules can stay but i think the posts should go.........ecspecially when bbyrne thought i wanted to go in her sweeties suitcase but in fact i was talking about going in our members "sweeties" suitcase because she was going on a trip too. :biglol: :biglol: That is how putting things into words can be misinterputed.............so yes, i say its time for these post to be gone for good! :) Please!
smiles
janetc
It's a "sticky" thread, so it stays at the top of the list (like the Christmas thread).
Although at this point, I think this thread is pretty much irrelevant -- the issues that instigated it in the first place have disappeared :)
where did this come from???
i thought a post had to be added to for it to resurface again amongst the living??? this hasn't been used since feb......how did it get to the front of the line???? hhhmmm...
the only thing going in my "sweetie's" suitcase is the additional couture and accessories I intend to buy when we are there.
As for my reference to you in an earlier post, it has been noted on several occasions that you have advocated that people try not to say derogatory comments regarding other member's preferences of decor. As a person who is a stickler for proper citations when using a reference point, your advocacy in that direction was the first that came to mind.
will take that lovely compliment.....lol oh no, that is scarey when you start to sound like your mother! thanks bbynre, can i come with you to rome, and then i will still get in sweeties suitcase
smiles
janetc
Bbyrne was complimenting you. She was referring to your Motherly advice that if you don't have anything nice to say - shhhhhhhhhhhhhh! or as my mother would say Keep Yer Trap SHUT!
:D
Lore i did see Reginas post, i was wondering where i wrote what brynne said, then again she may have been referring to another post off this thread....no biggie at all!
smiles
janetc
In an effort to stir up old bad feelings, Reginagirl posted a nasty comment. It has since been deleted by the mods.
Now you're up to date,
Lore
janetc said what, where, when....now im really confused, you know it doesnt take much to confuse me lol ..........help!
smiles
janetc
I also have used said colors and find them quite appealing! It just goes to prove the point at hand... Not all the Kiddies can play nice in the schoolyard... there will always be a bully.
another one for you! "I rarely read an entire Thread these days, where I am not reminded that tension exists."
From Regina Girl....
"or if we all wanted to paint our rooms teal or steamship white it wouldn't be much fun either. :0)"
I am dumbfounded that you would say that Reginagirl. Are you testing the new rules?
:mad: :hairpull:
I take particular umbrage at your glib comment on the use of teal and steamship white.. I happen to have used both of those colours and you've just proven the points of many member's comments - especially Janetc's that if you can't say something nice, either hit the ignore button or refrain from clicking on the send button.
You didn't bring up any hard feelings at all. And Norm, you have lots to offer here -- everyone does!!!! We all have different things to offer -- that's what makes a forum like this interesting and informative. If we all wanted to paint our rooms blue and hang green curtains, there wouldn't be much to discuss, right?! ;) Sharing different opinions and viewpoints is great -- what needs a bit of work is accepting and respecting some of those differences that we don't all see eye-to-eye on.
I appreciate your thoughts and I am sure there are others who have the same doubts. I don't post much anymore but have a good memory of a time when you and others unhesitatingly shared your advice, knowledge and experience. Discussions revolved around projects, opinions and ideas. It was lively, fun and inspiring to visit. The mutual love of decorating, gardening and related topics was the bond here. Different points of view were expected and respected. I wish I had as much to offer here as you, Smoodgie. These reasons for negativity and suspicion no longer exist but remain for lack of resolution. I rarely read an entire Thread these days, where I am not reminded that tension exists. Smoodgie, thank you for being so sincere with your comments...It was not my intention to bring up any hard feelings.
I think you would truly adore many of the dearly banned/deleted/withdrawn/departed members.
When the purpose of the site was truly for design and decorating there was camaraderie laced with fun which is now largely missing. Decorating threads were most often laced with humour, and while not more valuable than simple direction and instruction, was very enjoyable.
IMO, the original intent of the forum has now changed from the original decorating format and friendly, daily ‘check-ins’ appear to be the accepted standard as moderators and users have changed and have moved to a chattier, less décor focussed style. Nothing wrong with that, except along the way, many valuable members have been lost.
The new rule appears to be well thought out to a point. But, in introducing it belatedly for many, consideration should be given to making it retroactive, much like allowing a previously expelled kid BACK to school, once the principal determines that what was once wrongly labelled an "expellable" offense should really be punished only by a suspension.
As always, JMO.
My opinion is that these 10-day suspensions won’t change anything in the long run. At this point, too many things have been said, and there are too many hard feelings that I don’t think will soften any time soon. Some comments and actions by members have been beyond nasty – bordering on unconscionable – and are unlikely to be forgiven.
I became a member of the H&H forums in 2003. I’ve seen a lot of changes to the boards over that time -- but nothing like what has gone on over the last year or so. There were arguments and disagreements in the past, but I don’t remember any of them escalating to the nasty level that some recent arguments have. Almost everyone here is a stranger to everyone else – would you approach a stranger on the street and tell her that her coat is ugly?? Probably not. Then why do people think it’s OK to say things like that to strangers on a message board?? I guess the anonymity makes people braver than they would be in “real life.”
I was banned last June – it was a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The mods invited me to rejoin the boards shortly thereafter. However, I decided it would be best to not rejoin a that time, because I knew that I would end up saying something that would likely get me banned again. It was a long time before I felt that I could rejoin the boards and make what I hope are useful contributions. Admittedly, I haven’t been completely successful at staying out of arguments and holding my tongue. But I’ve made a concerted effort to avoid posts and threads that I find objectionable, so that I won’t say things that I’ll regret. That being said, I hope the members who have been banned temporarily will also wait until they’ve cooled down before they return to the boards.
So, the usual question at this point is, “If you don’t like it, why do you stick around?” Well, I wonder that myself. And I don’t have an answer. Although I guess it’s a bit like the gambler at the slot machine – it’s hard to walk away when you have the expectation and hope that the next pull will win the jackpot.
I hope this new 10-day temporary ban policy will make a difference. I'm not holding my breath, though.
I think I would have enjoyed those members that are no longer allowed to be here.
I have to agree with Kipper. In the past, there has been an inconsistancy in moderating. This may have been due to "Bad Post "reporting. I think the long time members who were banned or chose to leave on their own were not S**T Disturbers but quite passionate, sensitive and dedicated members. Some of us may remember old Threads, gone wrong, left on the boards far too long...and hard feelings and resentment began to build. I, for one, applaud the 10 day suspension penalty. With our technical tools, in place, and clear guidelines, there is room for all and I think, the more, the merrier!
I think the problem is that the Banned Members could be placed in either catagory, depending on individual forum member opinion. I think by making the bans retroactive, you'll please some and make others very angry. (and No, I don't think it'd be a good idea to vote on it)
You can't turn back time, so I think what the moderators have come up for the problems we have now is the best solution for a bad situation. They now have clear cut rules that they are willing to enforce. I feel this is a positive move on their part, and I'm pleased they've made this policy for everyone's benefit. I think we'll all see a positive difference in our time spent on the Forum if we give this policy a chance to work.
Actually, it's not even a matter of giving it a chance, it's a rule now, so choosing not to follow it, is choosing a 10 day ticket out the door. If people feel they need to behave unpleasantly, it will mean 10 days of peacefulness the rest of us can enjoy.
I don't see that there's anything to complain about or contest. This is a rule designed to be fair to all of the Members. It seems to me that they are doing their part to take care of the the Members who are present.
no complaints here,
kipper
honesty jelli, the thing is, on a open message board, you will never please everyone....if the banned members came back, it can go both ways, you will have members that will be pleased but you will have members that wont be so pleased, and what some may see as valid contributing members or troublemakers is another issue never agreed upon....so either way you are going to have uptight members....so that is why the mods have to make the final decisions in these matters....and i say thank goodness for that...i wouldnt want the job lol
smiles
janetc
were these now banned members active contributers to the forum or were they simply S**T disturbers that people are glad to see gone. From a relatively new member it appears to me that a lot of valuable members wish to see these banned members return (or so it seems) or at least given the option to. I would think that the moderators would want to please their membership and make them happy about using the site. From the number of posts asking the moderators to consider numerous requests I am surprised at the overall inaction.
JMHO I hope I don't offend anyone.
I believe that all those who were permanently banned in the past for "bad forum etiquette, should be allowed the same consideration as those who now will receive a 10- day suspension under the new guidelines. If this were to be "retro-active", then that would mean (IMO) that bans would be lifted as the suspension period had already gone beyond 10 days. I think that is what "retro-active" would mean in this case.
With regards to the suggested use of the report bad post button, I for one hope that this new policy brings about a consistency to the response to the use of that button. In the past, I know that I have given up using the button, as certain users seemed to have an ability to post anything without intervention. Protection of certain members at the expense of others has seemingly been standard operating procedure around here. Hopefully this marks a desire for change.
Exactly my point Condogirl. It wouldn't make sense.
:) Mel
:) Mel
I can't imagine why it would be retro-active, that would be like a school who used to give a 3 day suspension for fighting that now expels kids for it, going back and expelling every kid who had ever gotten in a fight. It just wouldn’t happen.
I truly hope that things can stay calm my biggest concern is the usual problems start on the weekends when the mods are not here. They last all weekend and thenusually calm done during the week. It has been fun here the last few days everyone getting excited about decorating and springs things.
really think the method can work too.....it allows members that cool down time, and gosh knows there is times when we need it, and yes the boards have been a real pleasure the past few days......
smiles
janetc
I agree with this new policy too.. As with any new policies that come into effect on any level..I'm sure they are simply created..then layed out for all to see..and then enforced. I'm pretty sure that these policies are almost NEVER retro-active. Then again..I may be wrong.
:) Mel
Here's a question, PM's can the H&H moderator read them or are they completely private between members?[/FONT]
I'll address these two points.
Firstly, we will not be listing banned members or listing the reasons for their ban. This is nobody elses business other than the forum team or the member involved - it will only serve for more "ammunition" toward the fighting and bickering that many seem to prefer to use this forum for.
Secondly, the private messages are private. The administration staff have no "moderator" access to them and they are not policed or monitored in anyway. Because we (House & Home) do have the data, we CAN access it in the extreme case of a law enforcement request or something of similar authority, but we do not and can not moderate these messages.
I hope this clears those points up.
I wasnt going to post in this thread, but here it goes anyway.
I think its a good sytem, to do a temp ban, to give people a warning. I am sure in the past members who were banned were given warrnings, it may not have been as formal as this, but I am sure it was done. I for one am enjoying the forum much more over the last few days, hasnt anyone else noticed the lack of fighting and nit-picking.