A Day in the Life of...
The Dog ________
8:00am - Dog food!
My favorite thing!
9:30am - A car
ride! My favorite thing! 9:40am - A walk in the park! My
favorite thing!
10:30am - Got rubbed and
petted! My favorite thing! 12:00pm - Milk bones! My favorite
thing!
1:00pm - Played in
the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00pm - Wagged my tail! My
favorite thing! 5:00pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00pm - Got to
play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00pm - Wow! Watched TV
with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00pm - Sleeping on
the bed! My favorite thing! :)
The Cat __________
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to
taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on
fresh meat, while the other inmates and I
are
fed
hash or some sort of dry
nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear,
I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength.
The only thing that
keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt
to disgust them, I once
again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated
a mouse and dropped its
headless body at their feet. I had hoped this
would strike fear into
their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my
capabilities. However,
they merely made condescending comments about
what a "good little
hunter" I am.
There was some sort of
assembly of their accomplices tonight. I
was
placed in solitary
confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises
and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due
to the power of "allergies." I must learn
what
this
means, and how to use it
to my advantage.
Today I was almost
successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving
around his feet as he was walking. I must
try
this again tomorrow, but
at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the
other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released,
and
seems to be more than
willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird must be an
informant. I observe him communicate with
the
guards regularly. I am
certain that he reports my every move.
My
captors have arranged
protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so
he is safe.
For now... :)
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