Something I saw a few weeks ago got me to wondering..... do you think that if something you've done in your life, you'd done differently, would your life right now be different than it is?? Or would you be who you are and where you are, regardless of if you'd done anything differently in the past??
I guess it's sort of like Quantum Leap -- if you went back in time and changed one thing about your life, would all the rest of your life be different because of changing that one thing??
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thank you ! I have done some things in this life that others see as brave (I left my first husband the first time he hit me at the age of 24), but somehow I do not see it that way; others here have other medical problems, just because mine is in my head (so to speak) should not make any difference, and should not make me brave! I now have other (physical) problems, but I do not let anything stop me, except common sense - DH was getting a little protective, so I told him if he stopped wrapping me in cotton wool, I would promise not to go hang-gliding (and there's not much chance of that, I can't go up more than two steps up a ladder, never could, and you should see me trying to get on a chair to get something out of a hight cupboard :biglol: ) I have worked/volunteered in the mental health field, and disclosure is always a problem; one job I had, the first "real" job, I got on my own after a co-op term somewhere else, and I didn't tell them until after my 3 months probation were up, and it turned out my immediate manager was very sympathetic, because she, too, had struggled with depression for a while - so it does not always pay off to be silent ! If I had diabetes, I would tell, in case I had a high or low, and so they would be able to help, and I think of depression as diabetes of the mind - it is simply a chemical imbalance, in the brain instead of the pancreas or wherever.
Anyway, enough rambling, anyone is welcome to PM me at any time . .
It was brave of you to share your problem -- how hard it must have always been for you -- and how wonderful that you turned it into a positive experience. It's a privilege to e-know you :clapping:
I stopped iceskating when I was five, and every so often I wonder what could /would have happened i I had been able to continue ??? but there are lots and lots of things like that in life, you make the decision (or it is made for you, as it was for me at 5 years old) , move on and hold onto the experience as a memory . . . . I don't like to dwell on things (even the tiniest molehill can become a HUGE mountain lol) but the occasional wistful "what-if" is OK . .
Smoodgie, glad you came up with that question........I had some pondering to do and I've come to the conclusion that I wouldn't want to change anything in my life........it's God's will and who's going to change that? I'm happy the way things turned out for me. :D
I wouldn't change anything as hard as this year was for me it totally helped me become a better person. All my good days and bad days have shaped who I am. That being said there is a handful of moments I would do anything to get back. One of them was a night I went out with my girlfriends. We had such a good time and we laughed so hard I didn't want to go home and we didn't until the place closed. When I was driving home I was grinning ear to ear and I thought if I was still with ex I wouldn't have been here tonight. That night made ever bit of pain and every tear I cried worth it.
i really thought your question was interesting and i really enjoyed reading the responses.
thank you :)
smiles
janetc
It's really interesting to read your replies to my question :)
What triggered this was a few weeks ago, when a girl at the stable where I board my horse brought her niece with her to go out for a ride. The stable owners have a pony that's' the perfect size for the niece. So the girl and her niece and a couple of other people went off on a ride.
I was riding Rosa somewhere else, and at one point, our paths sort of crossed. I was watching the four of them riding along, and got to thinking about how great it would have been if when I was little, I had the same opportunity to go riding. Not at a stable where you sit on a pony or horse and walk around and around in circles, but REALLY ride, out on trails and stuff. Which led to me thinking about where horseback riding might have taken me if I'd been able to learn to ride when I was young -- would I have had my own horse years ago, would I have competed, would I have been good enough to be in the Olympics?!
And then I thought, if all that had happened, would I have turned out to be one of those stereotypical horsey people?? (I'm not saying that all horse people are snobs, but there is a reputation that goes with riding.) And if I'd turned out to be a snobby horse person, would I be where I am now?? And I'm pretty sure the answer to that is No. It wouldn't have been a major life-altering event, but it's a small thing that might have made a big difference. Although as DBD said, would that difference have brought me to a place where I really would rather not be?? Who knows!!! I'm happy with where I am now, so I guess it's OK that I didn't have a pony to ride when I was 10 :)
Thanks for sharing your stories :) And no, reno-vator, your story isn't boring -- it's quite interesting!!
well said, my feelings exactly . there are times I wish I had been diagnosed when I was[U] [I]much[/I][/U] younger, life would have been a lot easier, maybe I would even have been successful at something - but I wouldn't be as strong and as compassionate s I am right now (at least I hope I have some compassion lol)
oooohhhh, I just saw that posted and realised I need to edit !!!! I have depression, I have had it all my life, and looking back had several major episodes when younger, as early as 16 or 17 years old. If I'd been treated at the time, maybe some harsh words would not have been said, maybe I would not have drifted as much (3 universities in 3 countries and nver finished one !) etc. etc. But, I am now in my fifties, married for 6 years, own business that is taking off right now, own my home for the first time in my life etc.etc. etc. But, if I had been treated during one of those previous episodes, who knows where I might have been - biologist or geologist (Uni in Scotland) linguist or teacher (Uni in France) or computer programmer (college here in Canada - did finish, never got a job though) I have had a really fun exciting and interesting life as it is though, because every time I picked up the pieces after a major bout, I went in a completely different direction so to speak.
Hmmmmm, really interesting question, and one I try not to dwell on too much
Hope I haven't bored you all, but my fingers just typed (was a secretary in one of my previous lives lol) what was in my mind :)
Everyone we've met in life and the things we've experienced contribute to who and where we are today..but having said that, I think each of us has a core personality that is uniquely ours...if Janetc had become a nurse, never married, been a career woman, I can't help but think she would still be recognizably Janetc...etc etc with all of us.
I have been lucky in meeting people and having family that have influenced me strongly. I can think of a few pivotal events in my life that changed its course...but I still think if they had turned out differently, I'd still be homebody :rolleyes:
Losing my mother at the age of 13 was tragic..but I too believe in God's plan ..her death gave me strength....I had to grow up fast, move out on my own at an early age, hold a job and pay for rent while still being in high school but most of all I would not have met my husband if she had not died.....my nana took care of me (from age 13-17)after my mom died and she moved me from Manitoba to Ontario where I met my hubby....we have been together for 20 years...I have known him longer than I knew my mom................I really believe that he was my gift...I had to lose someone/something to gain..........life is like that....my hubby's favorite saying is " life is like a slingshot...you must "go back" to go forward".................. :D
Sometimes I wonder if given the opportunity to be dropped back into one particular moment for a 'do over' which I would choose. The only thing is you don't know where that altered path would lead either since making a different choice or doing something differently could lead somewhere you didn't want to be.
I went to Calgary after getting out of school and went there to look for a job and move there. I was there for about 3 weeks and couldn't find anything and places to live were really hard to get so I went back home. That was many years ago and the day after I got back home I met DH and the rest is history. I have talked with him about it and how different my life would have been if I had found a job. He claims that is why I didn't find one because he was there waitng for me.
That is quiet the Sunday question... LOL
I have always lived on the fact that everything happens for a resaon, mostly becasue I have lived through some pretty hard, horrible things. ITs what keeps me going. I have often thought, where would I be in my life if I hadn't had my daughter so young in life, but then I think why would I want to know, i have her and that is the biggest gift of all. I always say the things that have happend in my life have made me the person I am today. Its hard to think that changing just one small thing though, could change the rest of your life.
smoodgie...what do you think you are doing making me think so hard on a sunday night... :laugh: there are some things that i would have loved to do but unfortunately i guess it wasnt gods plan. My dream was to be a nurse...so i guess i would say that under the circumstances i really wouldnt change anything.
smiles
janetc