Well... I had posted a while back that my brother was divorcing and trying the Fair Divorce procedure. You wise folks basically said your advice was get a good lawyer, get a good lawyer, get a good lawyer. Well I know each separation is different but truly my brother is too trusting! And of course his ex did not like the fair divorce set up so he got served with papers!!! I feel for him he - they paid 9000.00 and now have to practically start all over. His Lawyer is 400.00 an hour. Ouch! For us that is wow! Over the top expensive. Anyways her Lawyer is Diane Castle. My brother went to one lawyer who said she is a nut job and he just did not have the time and did not want his case.
He found another who seemed up for the challenge. His name is Stopka (I think I have it right) They are from Calgary - have you heard of these lawyers?
I still feel sick for the family especailly my brother for his ex wants full custody stating the boys grades have gone down after staying 1/2 time with their dad as well as they have had poor hygeine after being with their dad. This is so silly! The kids are 10 and 12 Puleeze! He is a great dad! I wish i could help!
Any tips or thoughts?
Thanks!
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:bliss:
Run as fast as you can the other direction, I had Diane as a lawyer and it was a totally nightmare for communication well there just isn`t any !:hairpull::
You can fax ,email,phone, send a letter it doesn`t matter she will not return phone calls.Then she will bill you for trying.
DO YOUR HOMEWORK ASK SOME OF HER CLIENTS HOW THEY LIKE HER SERVICE!
Better yet save hundreds of thousands and be your own lawyer .
It really is not that hard do your own affidavits, file all your own paperwork at the courts they are extremely helpful and they will tell you what your next step is everything you need you can download all the doc`s you need on the calgary courts home page;)
P.S
Go to Calgary Law Society page and do some research!
happy reading:))
Well, I had Castle as a lawyer and she never returned calls, , did opposite of what she promised me when she took my case, dragged it out by years, sent me endless bills she knew I had no funds to pay, charged high interest, and in the end, said she would not go in front of a judge without me losing a place to live, so I ended up losing everything. She never returned 1 phone call. She was usually out of the office, on holiday.
This is the same topic but now we are in a difficult child custody thing. DS#1 has married a great girl who has 2 terrific boys 14 and 12. She has just accepted a great promaotion and they are moving this summer and she shares custody with their Dad. The boys are now old enough that they can make a choice as to where they want to live. My DIL is a terrific Mom and has a very good job and they have a very stable life DS and the boys get along great and he loves them to death. DIL ex works 8 days on and 6 off when he is working he is gone from 6am until at least 8pm and he wants the younger boy to stay with him. She of course doesn't want to leave one of her boys behind it will be a 2 day drive to see them. The youngest wants to stay with his Dad as he feels sorry for him and thinks that Dad will have no one and Mom has her husband. DIL is home alot so she spends all her time with the boys even though she has a big job. DS is staying out of it as the 2 parents have to sort it out and he doesn't want to get involved and make it worse for her. I feel so bad they are really nice boys and I hate to see DIL upset like this.
I am not sure what the laws are in his province but I would assume all marital assets are split 50/50 as they are in other provinces. The house is included in this. So therefore, depending on what they own and what is in the bank, I would believe the house will have to be sold to split everything. It could work out that if the cash equals the house, she could keep the house and he gets the cash. Cars, jewellery, furniture etc. all are assets
Make sure he photocopies everything and starts his financial statement asap!
I guess I will find out soon enough but I know my ex sister in law's mother is footing the bill. AND I know things will be rosy for them (mom and daughter) until they have yet another falling out. so... I honestly just wish her mom would say no more money so they could settle fairly for my brother does not have any "extra" money if there is such a thing. Then I wish they would be forced to sell the house and clear up debt and then they both lose (NOBODY "WINS") yet ... is it fair she gets the house and he lives in an aprt. And he pays for her ANYWAYS as you can read I'm upset and should stay out of it until he has settled and then suck it up! Ha! I know he is happy NOW without her as he is finally moving on and the only thing that would truly break his heart was if he did not share custody and I'm pretty sure that will not happen then the rest will work inself out. Thanks for listening though. Just curious if any knew the lawyers. (Someone should post that they know my bros lawyer and that he is GREAT! HA Ha!
:mad: i know nothing about all this divorce stuff......BUT UNLESS a parent is abusive in any way shape or form BY NO MEANS SHOULD A CHILD BE RIPPED FROM THE PARENT....they NEED both parents in thier lives.....THIS IS SUCH A SELFISH ACT........i really hope your brother fights to end and never gives up.....his kids are so worth it, and this ex sister inlaw really needs to get a grip on what she is going to do to her children by keeping them from their father... :mad: sorry for the rant.....this is just a hugh pet peeve of mine
smiles
janetc
Is the ex financially prepared to fight this? If she is not then someone will give in first to settle because of the financial strain (lawyers fees) It can cost close to 50K + when all is signed and over.....80 - 100K if it stretches on and on and on. If she has no financial means, she will probably fold first and give him joint.
Thanks for your advice. I know he will fight for joint custody but I certainly hear him saying the costs! He can't afford! It is not fair. He should really sit the children down and let them know times are tough but his ex didn't want this to change their lives and yet IT CAN"T HELP BUT TO CHANGE THINGS DRASTICALLY FOR EVERYONE!!!! Anyways, thanks. I was just hoping for someone to say that the lawyer my brother got was honest and a knowledgeable etc. able to hold his own with a bad battle. :)
Sounds like he is in for a battle that he did not want.
He definitely needs a good EXPERIENCED lawyer. The ex is preparing for a nasty battle, so therefore your brother needs a lawyer who can go toe to toe with hers. He needs to thoroughly check out his lawyer's reputation etc before retaining.
Divorce is not pretty by any means.
As for the kids, sometimes it is in the child/ren best interest for one to have full custody. I am not saying this for your brother or for most. But there are definitely circumstances when one parent never had much to do with raising the children from the get go. They only fight for joint to make it look good on paper. They have no intention of providing the care and nuturing of a child, but are self centred and parade their kids for show.
My advice for your brother is to be prepared because it is only going to get worse before it gets better. He needs to document EVERYTHING...... what he does with the kids, schedules etc. Also under no circumstance should he speak ill of their mother in front of them. It will come back to bite him years later.
The kids should be in counselling. Your brother should take them and join them in the counselling. The judge will look favourably on this and as well this will be most beneficial for your brother and kids to have counselling to help them through this.
the only one that wins in these cases are the lawyers.
I obviously don't know anything about your brother's situation...
But I absolutely hate it when parents (in this case, it seems to be the Mom) play stupid divorce games... all it does is nagatively affect the kids!
When kids are involved in a break up, the parent's focus should be on stability, sense of security and welbeing of the children.
Stupid people!! (Not your brother, KN... seems he wanted to do this amicably)
It makes me sick to see some of these couples fighting this way. There is so much of it. They are so bitter and full of hate! I wish they could stop and think of how these kids will grow up and think of what is best for the kids and leave their own selfish reasons out of it. My own parents were split up for years (they never divorced) I always have had respect for my mother for the way she handled it. Although there was no love there, she never bad mouthed my dad in front of me and she always treated my dad with common decency. I see some of these women an I say to them "Be careful because the kids know more than what you think they do. They will grow up and form their own opinions of what went on." Somebody that I know just went through an unbeliveable ordeal. Sounds like parental alienation to me (look up some of those sad cases) Tell your bro not to give up. Joint custody!!!
Well so much for that bright idea eh? And so it goes at the beginning when everyone seems to think they can do this nicely... It's really a shame how so many of these things go and the only people who do well are the lawyers.
It sure doesn't sound like that 'fair divorce' bunch saved him anything. I sure hope he does better this round. I'm afraid I haven't heard of either of those lawyers but that doesn't mean much. I hope his is good because he needs joint custody and that can be tricky if his ex is playing dirty. I hope he doesn't let that stop him and I hope he doesn't back down as the costs go up. The people that give up because they end up thinking it's costing too much often really regret that when it comes to their kids. It's a big blow to pay out the money but nothing can replace the custody.
Hopefully he has or can find a support system here to help him through. I don't know how others feel about this, but after seeing what my brother went through all I can say is his kids needed to know he was still with them and fighting for them. My brother never said much to his (thinking it wasn't appropriate since they were quite young when it all started) and they seemed fine, but boy, in the late teens and now as adults there is some very obvious resentment and the feeling he didn't fight for them just because he never explained it to them and his ex works that angle to this day.... and he got joint custody at a time when it wasn't very easy. he just never let them know what it took which I think was a mistake.