Inever email sights but this article got under my skin so I emailed Oprah...well if you go to what she is working on you will see they are looking for Moms that are bored by thier children etc... I wonder if she got that idea from my email????
go to Sorry my children bore me to death the Daily Mail
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I applaud all parents who know how to limit technology use in their homes! :applaud: How wonderful that you are instilling values in your children. I know that it is difficult to escape technology today, and I certainly see value in it as well. We cannot necessarily live like the pioneers. In fact, I see how newsgroups/ forums (not unlike this one) can help children become critical thinkers as they write to express their viewpoints. Of course, the use needs to be monitored, just ilke everything else! My husband has to monitor the freezer as I can overdose on ice cream!
Bravo to all you parents! :clapping:
yep ..it is hard today as everyone has all this stuff!!!
I do not even have cable ( yep that is right :biglol: ) All my friends make fun at me but I do not have it as I would have to fight with a DS who is 8 to turn it off ..I know I would!!
When we moved into our last home which was 5 yrs ago DH and I decided to go tv and computer free.We could get just 3 channels with antenna back east CTV CBCand GLOBAL. Every now and then we felt like giving in back we figured we would read more and play with the kids more without them.
We moved here last yr and the previous owners left their cable hooked up ( probably just figuring we would have it hooked up) So DS had it here for a month and it proved to us we are doing the right thing still lol
We even got rid of our cell phone. Although we will have one someday to keep track of kids .
Saying all that we do get more channels lol 7 in English to be exact. lol
My sons have gameboys but I just take them and put them away. MOST of the time they ask if they are allowed to play them as well. But I notice lately that DS(8) is not asking and I have to watch the little fart!!
We have a computer again as you all know :laugh: DH went back to university for 2 yrs before we moved here full time so he really needed one. I was glad as I had a playgroup going and supperclub going and I must admit everyone communicated by email( DH use to growl..doesn't anyone call anyone anymore!!)
I have been wishing for school uniforms but I do not see them in the near future here :rolleyes:
I lived in England for a yr and I think they are great as all the schools have them there . And because of the huge volume of them you could get them at a really reasonable cost.
Everyone is the same and therefore there were no worries about what your children were wearing
sure has....a few years back we had a major power outage, it was wonderful...no tv or computer. We had a blast! That is exactly why kids are bored these days, too many electronics have kept them busy instead of imagination. Our girls do watch tv and go on the computer but i do my best to limit thier time.....if i didnt they would sit for hours at the computer. They are really not liking me as i have layed out a new rule...no computer (msn) unless its for homework from Monday to Thursday. Normally they had limited time on school nights, but there has been times when homework was not done to the best of thier ability because they wanted to go on the computer and talk to thier friends. :eek:
smiles
janetc
I totally agree with dustbunny! Modern life HAS changed family life! Well said!
I don't know if any of you saw the series that was on a couple of years ago where some US families were asked to live like settlers (similar to the Canadian series). What totally struck me was the family they had from Calif. who had a couple of teen girls and a boy about 8. They all went nuts at first missing their computers, shopping malls, and such. By the end of their time it was stunning.
Here they had a gigantic home with all the bells and whistles and were happier in this little cabin they built. The father and son got very close and it was really touching to see this little guy following his dad around and helping him when he barely knew him before because the dad was always working and the kid was always on the computer. When they were home the kid even mentioned he'd rather be out with his dad fishing or working and you could really see how the dynamics of the modern life had changed how people are relating.
The girls who had been really pissed at first noted how much happier they were when they had jobs to do and didn't know how they were going to just hang out like they used to.
All of them commented on how much more satisfied and happier they were doing physical labour even though it was harder to live that way.
It probably was easier on everyone years ago. Kids were used to entertaining themselves outside and parents had that break from them. Kids walked and mowed and basically got a little tuckered out too. I'm sure it helped that expectations were simpler too.
" kids today are so relient on stuff" SO TRUE!
I have a nephew and friends with children (none of my own yet) and am STUNNED to see the amount of toys and electronical devices they have out there for NEWBORNS! When we were younger, my brothers and I spent hours using everyday items like blankets, cardboard boxes and paper to CREATE a playland. Now, they only need to press a botton, and they have everything they want!
We were never driven to school either. We weren't registered for tons of activities. Yet, we never felt neglected by our parents b/c they didn't spend every waking moment entertaining us! We were JUST kids and were allowed to play like kids!
I think the woman who wrote the article made some valid points b/c she is probably tired of having to keep her kids entertained. Yes, she does have the responsibility to raise them and ensure their well-being, but she doesn't have to be a clown or magician! Which is why so many children are given t.v. sets and Gameboys, etc.... parents use them as babysitters b/c they feel guilty when they cannot do things with them 24/7. The truth is, children can enterain themselves for HOURS with simple things. They don't need (or want) their parents' attention 24/7.
I am not a parent, but a teacher of children in an inner-city school. I know that children often tell me how much they look forward to starting school b/c they were bored the entire summer. When I ask them what they did, they say they played on the computer, played Gameboy, sent away to camp, dragged to soccer, etc. (all supposedly "fun" activities, right?) These are the activities they were bored with and that parents have spent hours of their personal time trying to keep up with! When I ask the students why they didn't read, ride their bike, build secret tunnels using blankets in their backyard, their eyes light up as though they had never thought of that!
Parents should not be made to feel guilty when they decide to take time for themselves. The well-being of the parent is integral to the well-being of the child. Society needs to be less harsh on parents who cannot give 100% of their attention to their child. Let children be children and there won't be a reason for parents to be "bored".
well said....i think that is the problem, too many people have children because they feel it is the thing to do once you are married....wrong! It irks me to no end when others say that people who choose not to have a family are being selfish, actually the opposite, it is selfish to have children when you really dont want them.
Smoodgie....you are so right. Many parents these days bring so much upon themselves by trying to keep up with the Jones. It blows me...i cant believe the kids that are 13 years old and have thier own cell phone and computers in thier bedrooms and do nothing to earn it and just expect it. I have told the girls that will never happen here, when you are working and want to be completely responsible for your own cell phone bills, by all means go ahead..... materialistic things is the only life they know....that is where im glad that DH and i do live on a restricted budget because my kids are not raised on the best or the most expensive. Now, on the flipside i do know parents that are big on brand names and thier kids are given alot but they are also taught morals. The girls all have chores and im hugh on responsibility. When kids were getting IPODS for xmas our girls got a 69 dollar mp3 player and they are still thrilled to peices with it. They did a study, and asked kids, would you rather belong to all these sports and events or have more family time....the majority claimed they would prefer more quiet time at home with the family. Dont get me wrong, i think its good for kids to belong to a sport but only if they want to....in our area soccer became a hugh thing a few years ago, and parents felt a need for thier children to belong (bragging rights for them, i guess)...i couldnt count on my fingers and toes the kids that didnt want to be there. I guess that is why i always say i wish my kids could grow up in a era like i did...the seventies!
smiles
janetc
I have no kids and don't want kids, but I read the article out of curiosity. My first reaction was "what the hell kind of mother is this?!" But then as I read more, I started to see her point of view. I'm not saying that she's right to say that her kids bore her, and to send the nanny in her place, and that she refuses to do things like take them to the museum or go to movies or whatever. But she does make some good points -- mainly about how kids today are so relient on [B][I]stuff[/I][/B]. They get driven to school -- what's wrong with taking a bus or walking?? They have computers and Gameboys and cell phones and TVs in their family's minivans -- when do they ever come up with creative ways to entertain themselves?? When I was a kid, I had none of those things. I walked to elementary school and back 4 times a day, took the school bus to high school and the city bus if I missed my school bus. I used a pencil and paper to write letters and do homework. I played board games and soccer-baseball and Hide & Seek. I used a pay phone. I read books on long car trips. Kids today really are spoiled with all their gadgets -- not to mention designer clothes. Baby Gap?! Come on!! Sure, the clothes are cute, but who needs the pressure of being fashionable when they're still in diapers?!
Like the author, I would hate to have to drive kids to all their activities and go to their school plays and throw parties and clean up their messes and what the hell do you do with them for two month of summer vacation?! :eek: But I, unlike the author, avoided all these aggravating things by not having kids!! You need to take a certain amount of responsibility for your kids, and do things with them and support them and be involved in their lives.
There must be a happy medium between her attitude towards kids, and the attitude of parents who give their kids everything they want and put their own needs on the backburner.
I totally agree with everything this woman has to say. The though of spending my life at the beck and call of someone 4 feet shorter than me is my worst nightmare. The difference between these women and me though is that I recognized this as my calling to NOT HAVE KIDS!!! I think it is so sad that anyone resents their kids in this way and that she will probably grow up to be a very bitter person just like my mother. Kids should spent their time surrounded by people who absolutely want to spend time with them and enjoy them. It can't be very good for her childrens self confidence that their mother doesn't like spending time with them and happily sends them on their way with the nanny who hopefully does.
Thank you Janet, that's exactly what I meant as well. Balance is the key which I think this woman lost somewhere along the path to being self-centered. Yes, I'll admit, she strikes a nerve with me because it's all about her... why the heck did she bother having kids?
I also never had time to be bored and got plenty frustrated (many gray hairs to prove it) with "the little monkeys" but I also found fulfilling moments (aren't they angels when they're sleeping? ;) ) My un-coddled, un-playschooled, "just plain ordinary kids" are pretty well adjusted young adults and teens now.
I keep wondering if these boys are now being teased at school by their friends, being called so boring that even their own mom finds them so? Kids can be so cruel sometimes and will find anything to tease about.
Exactly!!!
I do not feel like everyone has to be "SuperMom" ( except for me ;) :biglol: )
But I wonder why did this woman bother having children?? :confused:
i have now read the article.........personally i feel you need an even balance and i dont get that feel from this woman....its too much about her. I dont think you have to obsess over your children or stand in the kitchen baking all afternoon to be a good mom, suzy homemaker im not.....i do believe they do become secure individuals without you being at their every whim but hell if you dont want to do absolutely nothing with your children, why have them. I didnt do play dates with my children....my girlfriends and i would just throw them in the car and go shopping, i played with them enough when i was home alone with them, i see nothing wrong with that. Basically what im saying, give to them but yourself as well is how i feel about parenting.
smiles
janetc
i have not read the article but the word boring does make me laugh :D ..........how and the heck can kids be boring.........they keep you too freaking busy that you just dont have time to be bored, i know somethings i had to do with them was boring...like pushing them 1000 times on a swing. :eek: I suppose i should read it as i may have a better understanding to what this mom is referring to..........i will confess....i love my kids to pieces but im counting the days to school starting up and i dont cry when they walk out the door.....somedays you feel so crazy :hairpull: you want to pack your bags and move in with the people up the street that have no children......so i think you can love your children to peices but that doesnt mean you cant complain about how nuts they make you somedays. Heck its a parents right........ :confetti: and i know my kids complain to thier friends about how crazy i drive them with rules....rules......and rules!
smiles
janetc
Yay Baby!!! :d
Sounds like a plan maybe we can go to the casino.... LOL and you can leave DH at home with the kiddies!
ok meet you out there ;) ...next time you come up to visit you dad...you gotta let me know...you gotta come up for a drink!!...and a few smokes... :D
LOL Jen Jen I just made my self a tea and am heading out to my balcony for a smoke too... LOL
14 more sleeps to school... hang in there girl!
jan...don't forget it keeps you sane!!!....good Lord i spent these past 2 weeks at home with my boys...monday was their first day back at camp...i hugged the camp counsellour for crying out loud...LOL...i love them to death...but 24/7 is a bit much...now take tonite for example...worked 1/2 day...picked the boys up from camp cuz i had an appointment downtown at 2:30 and wasn't sure if i'd be back in time to pick them up...ok so from 12:30 to 4:45 pm...my 2 children spent most of that time sittin' closer together than should be [B]LEGALLY ALLOWED [/B] in the back of the car...drove me frickin' insane!!!...i had the music cranked so loud to drown them out...i couldn't take it...then i kept thinking..why did i find someone to pick them up for me....then tonite..dh (which does NOT stand for darling here) decides he's gonna check out the casino...for the 3rd nite this week....WHAT THE ****!!!....but i wanna go to the races on saturday with my brother but i can't go i've got things to do.....@#$%^&*&^%$ you....sorry i tend to hold a grudge...anyhow thinking about that pissed me off and i have no clue as to what i was gettin' out...lemme get back to ya ;) ....
oh i remember...yea 24/7 is way to long!!!
and on that note ....i need a smoke.... :D
So is this woman going to be writing a book - or has she already? They say there's no such thing as bad publicity.
Sometimes you have to say something shocking to get the essence of what you want to say heard (or sold). For some being a full time stay-at-home parent is their whole reason for living. One DIL feels this way. A friend of mine didn't wait for the parental leave to be over so she could be back in the work place. Both people have well behaved, well loved children. There is no right answer. There are some obvious wrongs. And some parents are just b*tches so perhaps she was saying exactly how she feels. Being a parent sure isn't as easy or as much fun all the time like they show us in the movies or TV.
BTW, I'm a big advocate of women, not just mothers, going back to work or elsewhere with adult company. It helps keeps the mind stimulated.
Well I just read that article (very long article) I think we have all thought at least a few of the same things she has. I mean I love Going to school plays they are a lot of fun, when my kid is performing, when the other kids come on yawn..... and when I have to listen to the yuppie parents at my daughters school go on and oh about how great there child is (by the way their kid is normally the one on stage picking their nose) well its enough to drive me to drink. I dont have any friends who have kids so normally I dont have to talk about things like oh my kid can do this can yours? My best friend is pregers right now and honestly I love her to death but why is it that pregnant women can only tlak about being preggers come on did life stop just because she is having a baby? I think so many women forget who they were before they had children, it can be hard to make sure you still take time for your self but I think it makes you a better parent if you still know who you are.
i don't think i would call that woman selfish...she's being honest...she's come out and admitted what alot of us think from time to time...i'm sure her children will know that she loves them unconditionally,...not all mothers have the same priorities...JMHO
yep i've been told i'm the problem...not them...cuz they're fine around others
uh YEA!!
yep it does
nope they don't...now that's a reality show!!
YA THINK!!!...oh and i'm in denial about my drinkin' problem.... :D
i wouldn't say my children bore me...cuz there's never a dull moment in this frickin' house!...but it is exhausting and at times feels unrewarding....but when our children grow into strong responsible adults...that's when we're rewarded... :) ....someone tell me that day will come!!!....PLEASE!!!.... ;)
It seems like it doesn't it! lol. I wish the edit button would be open for a little while longer, so I don't make an idiot of myself! :p
sounds very much like my DIL.
itsjustme are you translating from a foreign language ? LOL
never mind my above post! I'm such a dork! :D
Wow, I feel sorry for this woman since she never realized that having kids can be a reward.
I've had 5 and I never stopped everything for my kids either. Much like this woman, I never catered to my kids' every whim BUT I also didn't tell the world that my kids bore me to no end and that I was "better" than what motherhood offers. I missed plenty of school interviews, the kids weren't extra-curriculated (I made up this word :) ) to death yet I thoroughly enjoyed them. I made it a point to learn the balance between being a caring parent and having my own adult life. Being a parent is all about balance. Kids are NOT the center of the world and they need to know that for fear of raising self-centered adults that will step on everyone's toes to get where they want to go. When adults have kids they have to remember that it's a give and take thing, adults are not the center of the world either. Responsible parenthood recognises that kids can be boring, stubborn and active and it bends to that. Heck, kids find us parents pretty boring too but does that mean they should avoid us and what makes us happy in life as adults? Give and take.
This woman sounds pretty selfish, and to put it out there for all the world to know about?? Now that tells you how uncaring she is because being the "educated" writer that she is, I'm sure she figured out that someday her sons will see how little she cared about them. Words can hurt
Are you saying you're bored with your children? Or maybe I need to go to the link...
...aah! Now I see. Which one are you? Are you in Canada? Charles?!
ok...gotchya now.... ;)
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=397672&in_page_id=1879&in_page_id=1879&ct=5&expand=true[/url]
Sorry :laugh: :biglol:
I cannot seem to post the site but if you gooogle
( sorry my children bore me daily post in uk )you will find this article on a mom who is bored with her children etc.
ok...is anyone else confused??
:biglol: :biglol: ...sorry bigmama