I don't know if anyone has seen the story on the news today, about an 80 year old man missing in Scarbrough, his name is Auther James and he is my grandfather. I don't really know what to do or say... They have 40 police on foot, a mounted unit, a K9 until, a boat out in the lake, and they brought in a helocopter from Barrie so they can search from the air for him. They are doing everything can, but there is still no sign of him.
Here is the link to the story on city news... [url]http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_6718.aspx[/url]
I know not many of you live in TO, but I thought on the off chance I would post the link, the more people who are looking for him the better.
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It is alot of work not that it is so tiring as draining. It is good that your Mom has someone to count on I know I was the one my Dad would lean on even though i was the only one that didn't live near by. He would phone me and I think that was easier for him to talk over the phone than face to face. At least you Grandpa is safe and being looked after and getting the help he needs.
Thanks Jeep,
Its harder on my mom than anyone, I am just trying to be there for her... Without going in to total detail, there is quiet a bit of depression in my family (not my mom her sisters and brother) So my mom is the only one of the siblings that is capable of making the hard choices, so I am her back up, her sounding board and generally there for her. She has set up a family meeting for everyone, and is having a family counselor there to mediate it. I am really hopping this will help to get the ball rolling on a few different things, one of those being selling my grandparents house, as they no longer want to be together. which means a ton of work for my mom and I as no one else will help. It has to be completely redecorated, the outside needs some painting and it needs a major clean up.. All of this work will either have to be done by or over seen by my mom and I.
Hang in there Condo these issues are never easy.
Yes he was found, but he didn't want to go home, so he is at my aunts house in Ottawa, there are many issues that this has brought out, that the family now has to deal with, its been hard but we are getting through it.
yes he was found at a shelter the next day i believe
any news about your grandfather?
OMG! It just hits home that behind those stories on the news are real people. I really hope they find him safe. Hang in there!
your grandfather has been found!!! thank god....condogirl you've been on my mind all day and it's a relief to know that he returned home safe. by best to you and yours.
I'm so glad he is home, safe and unharmed. Hopefully his spirit is good, and he is willing to talk with family.
I wish you my best with your family meeting. Hopefully your grandfather will be open to seeing a doctor who may help determine if his health needs have changed. That is not always easy. We went through this with my mother just over 3 years ago, when she was 85 and living alone. Her moods would hit extremes, and one day she took a fall that broke her arm. It was a bit of a journey from there, as doctors not only wanted to treat her arm but they wanted to determine if there was a reason or cause for her fall. In time it became apparent that her Diabetes was out of whack, something she'd managed quite nicely with insulin for many years. Then finally it was discovered that she would experience times when she FORGOT HOW to administer her insulin, and this is when she was prone to both extreme mood changes and falls.
It was difficult for my mother to move to a Senior Residence, but it was best for her. Because of room shortages here, she was in a temporary one for an unusually long long time, which was not ideal because she had to share a room and that is just not her thing. Finally she got a permanent room elsewhere, not our first choice as it was her own room but a shared bathroom. A year later an opening came up in what I chose as our first choice for placement, and I moved her. Sorry to go on like this, but I thought it might be useful for you to know that waitlists can hold things up, and the most inconvenient thing about that is having to make a move when the Senior has settled in where they are, something that can be a little traumatic. Should it be necessary for your grandfather to move to such a home in future, it would be wise to learn of any waitlists you may want to have his name put on now.
Again, my best wishes to you and your family.
You didn't say how your grandfather's health is, but I thought I would mention that he may have had a small stroke. At one time my dad had a few problems. he would do things like get up from his chair and head off only to come back to say he couldn't find the bathroom or bedroom. He'd just be lost (this in their 1200 sq ft house they'd lived in for decades). Next day, fine again, no problem and he had no idea why anyone was worried. He also would lose his balance on occassion or just do things that weren't quite explainable or were a little out of character. it didn't quite fit things like alzhiemers.
His doctor felt these were signs of small strokes. No way to really tell for sure but we and he had to be aware. it wasn't until after he died and they did an autopsy they discovered he'd indeed had several small strokes.
Anyway, you must be relieved, but him thinking no one would be worried must be enough to get some fingers wagging at him. I hope it all works out for everyone.
Condo I know oh so well how these things are very difficult to deal with but it is no different than dealing with a teenager that is giving you a hard time. Tough love is very heart wrenching but when they can get lost or hurt it is the only thing that works. We were lucky my Dad didn't have to make the decision to put my Mom in a home the Dept of Social Services did it for him. She had been brought home by the Police the last time and the next day there was a call to say she was been put in a home as she was becoming a danger to the public. She was found walking down the middle of the Freeway carrying a bag with clothes in it. 911 was ringing off the hook and the Police said she couldn't be out anymore. I know we should have done something sooner but my Dad wouldn't let her go as he is blind and that meant he also lost his freedom and they also had been married over 50 years and he was afraid to let her go. When they took the decision out of his hands and arranged for a spot for her he was ok with it. Remember you are doing these things out of Love and concern for the person not because you want them put away. It was very hard but my Dad said it was the first night sleep he had in years.
Your family must be so relieved.
He has been found, He said he had no idea anyone would even bother to look for him. He is home now, but we are going to have to have a major family meeting to deal with a few issues. But for now he is safe and sound. :applaud:
i did see this on the news and the real scarey part about watching this is for some reason i had thought of the forum. Im so so sorry Condo......lots of prayers for your dear grandfather...........please know that we are here for you.
smiles
janetc
That is terrible Condo that was my greatest fear for my Mother getting lost. She wondered off and we looked many times for her and were able to find her she had a very kind couple bring her hime one time and another a trucker found her out on the highway way out of town and brought her home. I hope that someone will do the same for you.
So sorry to hear this and my prayers are with you and your family.
i can't even begin to fathom what you must be going through. remember that we are here for you...you'll be in my prayers tonight.
~ cathie
I would like to say that this is one of those cases where he will come home safe and sound, but he left a note saying I have no money and I won't be coming back. He left all his money, ID, credit cards etc at home. He is legaly blind and he has trouble walking. We are starting to prepare for the worst.
So sorry to hear that your grandfather is missing. I hope they find him soon.
Condogirl. i hope your grandfather is one of those old people toward whom others take care and concern, find him, give him a warm cup of tea and bring him home. When my mother was in her later years, she'g go off an excursions on a whim, get lost, be lost for up to 8 hours, and be returned to us safe and sound by some kind strangers who found her and entertained her for several hours. Meanwhile we;d be desperately calling around, driving around, checking with the police and hospitals. Once she got back, she'd dust her hands off and say what a wonderful time she had, and how marvellous strangers could be. I hope your grandpa is returned to you safe and sound.
Sending you good thoughts and hopes....Hugi
Well its offically been about 24 hours since anyone has seen him, and still no luck, no leads, no clues.
The helocopter has gone back to barrie as they where not able to find anything, there is still a large search going on.
My prayers are with you and your family. I do hope everything turns out okay.
Gerri
How Awful For You And Your Family, We All Pray That He Comes Home Safe And Sound. I Do Feel That Everything Will Be Alright. Pleae Let Us Know.
Zella
Oh Condogirl - this is terrifying. My stomach is in knots for you. Hoping for the best.
Oh no. YOu must be worried sick. I sure hope they find him soon and it's all good news.
oh condogirl, my heart goes out to you and your family.
i too hope he is found soon...good luck.
Oh condogirl, I hope they find your grandfather. Try to stay positive -- there are a lot of people looking for him, it isn't too cold outside (if he's fallen or stuck somewhere outdoors), there's no reason to believe that there was any foul-play..... there's a good chance that at they'll find him and he'll be OK.
All your forum friends have their fingers crossed for you and your grandfather.....
I hope he is safe, and found soon.
Awwwwwww condogirl, how sad, i did see that on the news. Oh that is your Grandfather! I don't live in the gta, gosh i hope they find him soon!!
Everyone that lives in the GTA will keep their eyes open, they will find him, i am sure of it, let's all pray and keep our fingers crossed for him!