Just was uptown and ran into my old boyfriend. I haven't seen him in years.
Suddenly I became very self-conscious. You know like, is my hair sticking up, how noticable is that zit? I felt like I was sixteen.
And when we talked we couldn't even make eye contact.
I feel like a freak.
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Now you hear about this kind of story and see it all the time. Now perhaps that guy should have said to her too when she came back, that he is no longer interested.
Am not claiming to know what women want, but why is it that some see a guy that will bend over backwards for them, and they decide to go with some nincompoop, just because he thinks he is wild, has a mullet, and likes to get into trouble. What is the attraction in that :confused:
It will explain why some people end up on the shelf, because they are looking for who they think their friends will consider cute, and a bit of a fire starter, rather than going for that gentleman. At the end of the day, it's about mutual respect, having things in common, adoration for each other, and working towards a common goal.
The moment I meet someone, I can tell their character from their the shoe they have on. I think it's a gift that I have had since childhood. Now you are probably reading this thinking WHAT :confused:
There is more to this, look at it this way, when you are thinking of buying a shoe in a store, you stand there for a while, looking for that one shoe that you think is good for you, what you are actually doing, is picking the one that tells the world, what kind of person you are.
That is where I come in, am able to read off that, in my contact with you, to tell me what to expect and shed some light on your traits. I have been to house parties where I have told people I have never met before, what I think they like, and the kind of stuff they like to do.
Am not saying am 100% right most the time, but I have been pretty damn close. Some guys meet women and look for obvious features, I look right at the shoes ( listen we are not talking designer gear here, so please don't get me wrong, it's more like the kind of shoe ), to speak to me about them.
I ought to write a book about this I have been told
Condogirl, he sounds wonderful! I hope it works out for you.
One of my girlfriends was best friends with this guy since highschool and they were there for eachother through thick and thin. They even dated briefly but she dumped him because she was a wild child at the time and he was way to "proper" for her. Years later, when she was feeling down in the dumps about life in general, she realized how lucky she was to have him in her life and that's when she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. He had always loved her more than just friends but didn't pursue it because she wasn't into him at the time. Now they're happily married with two beautiful children and life couldn't be better.
I always think that the best things for us in life are right in front of us but we only see what we want to see, if that makes any sense.
This has been wonderful reading. I think we're all on the same track. I totally agree with what Reginagirl and also Homebody said a few clips ago. They are 100%correct. Mystified, we all become much stronger individuals from the life long experiences we've had (good and bad). And when we go thru difficult times we build on that confidence and we know we can handle just about anything thrown at us! You go girl, stand up and be tall!!! Condogirl, I can't wait to hear how things go for you this weekend! Good luck! Keep a cool head on your shoulders and take things slow.....
I would never ask my fellow to throw out all the pics of his life before he met me. Why would I not keep mementos of a time & places that I look back on fondly.
The pics I spoke of are not neccessarily of the OB, but more of an amazing place & experience I had a month of two before we split. When I left Europe there were many things I left behind - those photos are the 'thing' I miss.
The past has brought me to where I am today. Like Valsie said, we build new relationships on the foundations of the old. I don't make the same mistakes. I wouldn't settle for less than the fantastic guy I have today. But, it is human nature to look back.
jeans and low cut top....very country styleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
if it casual I would weare your best but jeans, a fitted low cut top and a funky jacket with hot shoes with high heels unless that would make you taller then him of course
Less is more, as they say :D May be not in some cases :eek:
LEATHER!!!!....bawhahahahahahaha.... :D
Hey, Condogirl, wear something that you really like, that you feel comfortable in, not something new that you will feel uneasy about. Don't pick anything too dressy. He wants to see you, the girl he has thought about and returned to in his dreams all these years. And you want to be able to focus on the conversation and the things felt but not said (not whether your pants are riding up, etc. LOL)
I think it's great that this will necessarily be a brief meeting. It will give you a chance to test the water with your toe, and make an easy exit when the time is over. Then you can think about how the time felt to you, and how you think he entered into it...
Best of luck. Here's to old friends, old flames and new beginnings.
I am very happy you are moving on. Life is an amazing gift and I think most of us if we really think about it wouldn't change our hard times because they get us where we are and shape who we are.
I think Carrie Bradshaw said best when we she said this
Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away.
Maybe... I really do belive that everything happens for a reason, I have to or else I dont know how I would get though all the hard times I have had in my life. :p
as they say, things happen for a reason...........perhaps he is your soul mate...
smiles
janetc
Not weird, I have always though he was the "one" if there is that! I have always judged all other guys against him. And they never match him.
you deserve a man that rocks your world.........very well said! and your DH sounds like a gem for sure
smiles
janetc
Wow Condogirl..that sounds exciting. I wish you all the best..maybe it's been written in the stars all along..I know..I'm a weirdo.
:D Mel
all the best to you this weekend! heres to a good one
smiles
janetc
I will... I am so so excited to see him!!! He is town on business this weekend so we will only have time for a quick drink, but it will be worth it to see him again. We are pretty much bestfriends, we know everything about each other, we have been there for each other though breakups and dating of other people. I think we have pretty much talked every day since we split up but I have not seen him since. Any I havent stop smiling since he called to ask me out!!! Any ideas on what wear?
thank you so much for your words about people that have class, that is exactly how i feel....i may not be the fanciest dressed person, nor is my house a show peice, but i do consider myself to have class.
I can proudly say and i count myself very luck and blessed but i too have a DH that rocks my world.....could never ask for more...we have been together since 1978...ooo so young but we only get better at the relationship....please dont get me wrong, nothing is ever perfect, we have been through alot like most couples, but we just keep plugging along.
smiles
janetc
You have to keep us updated on what happens!!!!!
I loved hearing your stories, esp. yours, Homebody. I could just picture that in my mind as you were telling it. They could actually make that into a pretty funny movie I think.
As for pics, I still have mine. OB was a big part of my life and it was for the most part a good experience so I don't want to let that go. But I do think it would be dangerous to run into him too many times, there's still chemistry there.
I have run in to many of my old BFs over the years, I ran in to my very frist real boyfriend one Vallenties day a few years ago, it was very strange, we said hi smiled and that was about it. I really wish I had stoped to talk to him more that day as he died in a car crash about a year and half later. He was the sweetest guy, I had know him since I was 3, we dated in jr. high and then he went away on a hockey scholorship in highschool and then I didnt see him again until that v-day when we were in our early 20s.
But just recently one of my ex BFs who I still talk to all the time, (we dated about 2 1/2 years ago) decided to tell me he has been in love with me for the past 2 1/2 years. He never told me he loved me when we were together, and we split up for some really dumb reasons, (we lived 3 hours apart) anyway we are getting together for drinks this weekend, I am very nervous and excited to see him. Wish me luck.... god I have no idea what to wear!
I do have some very very old pics somewhere in the basement of my OB. My girls who are now adults saw the pics at their grandparents. They've asked me questions over the years about that time in my life. It's helped me give them some advice on growing up. Overall, most of my old pics were thrown away when I married.
husband and wives and different then boyfriends and girlfriends.
There are no pics of ex boy friends or girl friends hanging around in albums in our house, don't know about you though ;)[/QUOTE]
absolutely not!
i think as we grow older and are impacted by lifes tragedies we tend to evaluate not only ourselves, but the people in our lives as well....some are keepers and some are not.
to mystified...i'm sorry to say had a bad experience, however a best friend wouldn't bruise your heart from half the world away....only a s#$t head would....and he's not worthy of you....be thankful you aren't with him....best friends enhance who we are they don't knock us off our feet....i'm sad you had to go through that ordeal....but i suspect you are stronger for it. there are lessons learned from each experience it's just a matter of discovering the lesson.
I too think that all of our experiences and the people we once knew (OBs, OGs, and just plain friends and acquaintances) make us who we are today. Some of those experiences, like the one Valzie described, are wonderful, warm and positive. I think it was great that she was able to share a happy time in the past with her OB. Other experiences, like that rat that Mystified describes, tell us something too -- some people are unworthy of us.
A few years ago I had a real health scare, and let me tell you, it really makes a person take stock. Not just of the Real People in their lives, past and present, but also what kind of person one is, and how one impacts on others...Whoo boy, a life-changing experience. And it puts unhappy or even irritating things in their proper scale. There are all kinds of stuff that I used to make myself miserable or angry over, and now it's water off a duck. Some things are worth keeping and some are just a little static. My view anyway.
Clearly Glas..you have no idea what goes on inside a woman's head..LOL
:) Mel
Are you saying if you broke up with your dw you could just let her go, you could forget everything you guys ever shared, including the friendship you had and move on ?
I believe we are talking about old boy friends and girl friends, not wife and husbands :confused: Even if it is what you are talking about, if there are no kids involved, I don't see why you would want to, if you are with someone else now, and married
There are no pics of ex boy friends or girl friends hanging around in albums in our house, don't know about you though ;)
you still wonder about sometimes?? The what ifs?? Most of us are haunted by something lost or left behind.
My previous relationship ended in a bad way - I didn't get the 'closure' I would have liked since I was dumped on the phone from half a world away. (A bit cowardly on his part!!) Years have passed & I've moved on but I still think about him sometimes and wonder how he is doing & if he's happy. Most of the time I hope he's happy.
Not only was he my heart's desire, he was my best friend - not knowing him anymore seems so unfathomable to me & yet ... I wonder how he is but I don't call or write & if I saw him coming down the street (unlikely since he lives in Europe) I think I'd run the other way.
I would like those pictures though, the ones of the last days of us, the ones he never sent.
[QUOTE=glaswegian]what is it with people that always try and remain friend's with their OB / OG 's? That business is done, move on and concentrate on the present,
Are you saying if you broke up with your dw you could just let her go, you could forget everything you guys ever shared, including the friendship you had and move on ?
This has been very amusing to say the least. I'd be honest and the next time your old flame suggests dinner I'd say "sorry, but it's time to move on." This guy obviously has a real grudge on his shoulders. Spend your time wiisely with the friends that really count!
I agree with the others. It's what you give in time, understanding, and helping others that really counts! It's unfortunate that it takes about 20 + years to realize how important true friends and family are.
Anyway, this is a good topic for me to read because I talked to my first long time boyfriend from highschool that I dated for 4 1/2 years. about 2 years ago on the phone. His brother passed away suddenly and I made the phone call 2500 miles away. We talked for almost 2 hours . I had never seen or talked to him in over 20 years. This past Xmas, two years later he called my parents and got my phone number and contacted me. To make a long story short when I went to ON to see my parents in Feb. we met for coffee and exchanged pictures of our families and caught up on a lot of time that had passed. It was really nice. He said to me that of all the memories he has growing up as a teen it always goes back to us and the time we spent together. I truly believe that it was this relationship that built the foundation in any long term relationship that I had after that. So today we both married other people and are BETTER people for doing so.