Just wondering what other parents thoughts are on preschool? Do you think it is necessary for kids? Do they really benefit that much from it or is just sending them to kindergarten when the time comes just fine? Anyone want to share any good or bad experiences? Did your child go easily or were they frightened to be left at preschool? My inlaws think it is necessary and we will be doing a disservice to our child if we don't start with preschool.
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I really appreciate everyone's opinions! My Dh and I will have to have a long discussion and investigate what programmes are offered in our area.
I have always been of the same feeling that kids get so much schooling without adding to it but my inlaws see it differently. For their sake, we will look into it as it seems like an issue that is causing some family turmoil. In the end though, they will just have to accept what decision my husband and I make.
Mine are all grown up but we didn't have pre school or Jr. kindergarten and they made out fine. I think we need to let kids be kids they will have many years of schooling and not much Mom and me time. Some kids start kindergarten farther ahead of others but in no time they have caught up. If you feel that you need this time with your DD take it and don't be pressured into thinking that you are doing her a disservice she will be just fine.
I never sent any of my children to preschool. 1 is finished highschool, 1 going into grade 11 and one going into grade 2. They all made out great in school. I always just felt that they'd be in school for so many years already, why add to it.
You have made an excellent point, that other opportunities for social interactions can be found in most communities. Personally, I think exposure to large groups of children together with exposure to structured activities is all that is needed to avert the potential "shock" of kindergarden.
I think that trying to teach a child to socialize in a large group without actually exposing them to groups of other children would be like trying to teach someone to swim without water. Some experience in that environment is necessary!
One thing that I remember noticing is that some of the other kids in the class knew songs my kids didn't. It's a silly thing, for example songs that you clap a certain way to as you sing along. These other kids were in their second year of preschool, thus why they knew what mine did not. Of course, my kids caught on soon enough, but it was a small example the in the loop/in the know factor that is part of the social side. Learning in a group is a fun new world, and different than at home where you sing by yourself or with mom. Power in numbers! Hey, learning to line up (and stay there) is a whole lesson in itself too-it's a really big deal for kids, but I had never thought of that. Those are just a few things I can remember giving thought to during my time on the bench. My point, and I do have one, is that I got to thinking of how alienated my kids could have felt going to Kindergardenn only, and finding themselves with a bunch of well-practiced kids. Since many or most kids in my area have some exposure to preschool, my kids could have felt like outsiders in Kindergarden.
I guess I took the attitude that it would be good for my kids to begin social skills in preschool...I think that's what got me to take them. It was only a few hours a week, and we did not get into playdate stuff afterward, although a few kids that lived near each other did on occasion. My kids never had time with other kids prior to their preschool days, and both learned a lot about the joy of friendships there. I should also say that the teachers (3 per class) were excellent at the community center where we went, and that is probably the main reason the whole thing worked out to be positive all-around.
Good luck with whatever you decide. I experienced the same reluctance about it, and I completely understand how you feel.
a lot of sense, kipper!
a Pre-School level swimming class? One where they combine the swimming lesson and a short craft time? My sister-in-law had access to a programme like that in her city. From that you'd get your listening, instruction, shift to different activity training from the swimming, as well as the social interaction from the craft time. Then you could be there to spectate as she participated and it won't be a year long commitment for the both of you.
It sounds from what you wrote your child isn't in dire need of socializing if she already has some exposure to children. Inviting a friend from the swimming class for a playdate also counts for learning to share and socializing.
Go with YOUR instincts, don't let your in-laws pressure you into anything. Preschool isn't a guarantee to Kindegarten success anyway; good parenting is. I would think a teacher would recognize that.
kipper
a tough decision... what about finding a pre-school for, say, two mornings per week? Eases her into it, gives her a little more time with other kids, still gives you lots of time together... maybe you could choose one where mums volunteer, as already suggested.
I would be wary of any pre-school focused on "academics" for 3 and 4-year-olds... at that age, play IS learning...
Thanks for sharing your opinions...keep them coming!
I have really been struggling with this. I don't really want to send my little one (almost 4) to preschool. Honestly, for my own selfish reasons. I will miss her terribly. I like having her all to myself still. She really doesn't get very much socialization with kids. When she does play with other kids she loves it although she isn't great at sharing. Now that we have a new baby, I am worried that if she goes off to preschool then she won't build a good relationship with him since she will be focused on her new friends.
My inlaws (one a elementary school teacher) think that she needs more socialization with kids. I am feeling really pressured. I guess in my heart I think my little girl would benefit from it but at the same time I really would rather wait until kindergarten.
Are your inlaws thinking preschool is necessary for socialization or to get a leg up on the academics of JK? LOL - academics of JK - that's kinda funny.
My son really didn't learn much at all in preschool. Basically, they spent the entire time learning to draw lines and hold the pencil. I was amazed, when he got to JK, how much he learned. So I don't think the preschool prepared him for school (academically) at all. It didn't really matter, since the JK basically starts from scratch. Socially, of course, it probably helped, but he is a social butterfly by nature, LOL.
If your child is alone all the time, it may be a good idea to enroll in a coop preschool. If your child is already well-socialized, I don't think preschool is that important.
If you choose to use a preschool, may I make a suggestion? My son went to Oxford Learning Centres and, as I said, he didn't learn much. Plus they gave him so much useless homework; it was agonizing. I kept him there because I didn't want to switch him around since he seemed to enjoy the kids. However, I have friends who are using Montessori school and are very happy with it.
My oldest boy is in a co-op preschool right now and I love it and he loves it, he is 2 1/2 and it is the best thing for him. He gets to socialize and learns structure and isn't always being told by me how to do or not to do things. He loves his teacher and on the days he goes I get to have sometime to have some one on one time with my 9 1/2 month old.
If your heart is breaking to put your child in preschool, then don't do it. You are not ready. Spending time with mommy is all your child needs. Preschool and Junior Kindergarten isn't compulsary, and the teachers will tell you your child doesn't need to go to school until SK.
If your child seems ready and independant, then try it, otherwise enjoy the no-school routine as long as you can hold out.
all went to a co-op nursery school for a year or two before kindergarten. It was either morning or afternoon, 3 days a week. It was great for me too! I was very involved in running the school, in fundraising activities and treasurer for about 8 years in all. Each parent had to take a "duty day" and help the 2 teachers, one session every 2 weeks. My kids made wonderful friends, ( I did too!) and had great outings to local farms, picnics, other local events. The kids learned some independence, patience, manners, and formed good habits re; cleaning up, sharing, and waiting for "your turn", even knowing what "healthy" snacks are! They learned far more from the other kids than I could ever teach them at home. :)
Speaking for myself, I will say I was HORRIFIED when people began saying, "oh, so it's school next year for her, is it?" when my firstborn was only two. Finally when I heard this often enough I got fired-up enough to call the school board to ask if preschool had become a pre-requisite for kindergarden. The answer was "no". One would have thought so, for all the reminders I was getting from people-even family members.
In the end, I chose one year of preschool for each of my kids, and it was 2 or 3 days a week, not a M-F thing. I was not eager to be without them by any means. The preschool was fabulous, as were the teachers, and it was an overall positive thing.
Each of my kids was different about adjusting. My daughter (eldest) basically just said bye to me and that was that, on the first day. My son, on the other hand, had a bit of a separation anxiety but we dealt with it in a way that worked for both of us. I basically stayed in the class sitting on a bench for 45 minutes, then let him know I was leaving to buy something at Safeway, and I would show up earlier than other moms and do another 40 or so minutes on the bench. The bench times decreased gradually as he became more confident about me coming back, and in 3 months I was dropping him off and picking him up like the other moms. The teachers had no problem with this at all. I have a feeling I'd have had the same thing in kindergarden had we skipped preschool for him.
I have 3 children ages 9,7 and almost 3. I sent my oldest to preschool for the interaction with other children. We were new to the city and knew no other children for him to play with. He did very well and had no seperation anxiety, though it was a co-op and parents had "duty days" so there were always parents present. I often "hung out" to play with the other kids, since my son had nothing to do with me while I was there.... too busy playing with kids to notice I was still around. I always had my younger daughter there while I hung out, and she second-handedly caught on to the concept of shifting activities and sitting quietly. When it came time for her to go to preschool, I didn't send her. She was already very social, and very well behaved and able to shift gears without a second reminder. In fact, when I had been volunteering at my son's school, the Kindegarten teacher invited my daughter to stay with her class while I was volunteering and let me know she was "absolutely ready for Kindegarten next year".
If your child already has exposure to other children through daycare or a sunday school, and feels comfortable there, don't feel like you have to send your child to preschool for them to be successful.
One of mine did, one of mine didn't, and I may not sent the third. Don't feel badly if you don't. Spending more time with Mom is never a bad thing.
kipper
I think if the child is alone with no playmates that he/she can interect with, then it is a good idea. I sent my son who is 5 yrs younger than the other siblings for that reason. He needed to learn to share and to be around others his age. playing etc. At home his things were his alone and he was spoilt by 2 older sisters. He went 1/2 days for 8 months. The preschool progam was run by excellent people and he enjoyed it.
i think it can sometimes depend on the child too...none of my girls went to pre school and went off to kindergarten just fine. However, i do think preschool can have many benefits as dreamer has mentioned. My niece is extremely shy and my sister sent her and she is now much more outgoing, so in her case i do believe it was a benefit and she will be more ready in september for school. If you arent sure, does the program even offer possibly 2 mornings or afternoons a week and i dont feel that your doing your children a diservice by not sending them unless you feel in your heart that they will benefit from going. good luck
smiles
janetc
I am now 50, and did not go to school of any kind until I was 5 years old - also had no kids my age around us. I had no social intereaction (my brother was born when I was 4) with kids, and I still feel the effects ! I am not comfortable in large crowds; anyway, in my opinion, socialization of some form or another is good idea.
My kids did not go to preschool, but they did go to a good daycare part-time prior to kindergarden. I think that the experience of interacting with other kids in a group is good - it helps with the adjustment to kindergarden. They learn all the sharing rules, the sitting quietly rules, the being-away-from-mommy rules. The only reason I think a chld might "need" preschool is to prepare them for kindergarden, which is often a shock to the little ones who are used to a quiet home, to having their stuff to themselves, etc...