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cinqfoille is easy to grow and keep tame. The bush starts blooming in June and bloom all summer.
You lop it off 2/3 from the top in spring and voila beautiful new flowering growth all that year. I think you can buy pink or yellow or white, blooms that is. I had 5 under a long window and they filled the space beautifully. :)
I haven't had one, so no help there.
My Mom just bought me a hawthorn. I am babying it at the moment. I can't wait to see it grow.
I love lilacs. I know that they are traditional and don't have a long flowering season, but I love them.
I've never had one, but I think if you keep trimming them, you can keep them under control; I also heard that they have big deep roots - don;t know if that would be aproblem for you or not.
Good luck - I really like them, too.