So, this year my DD graduates from secondary school. As it goes, they have a pre prom cocktail traditionally hosted by one of the "families" of your child's particular group of friends. This is all new to me but anyway this is what I am told....
Anyway, the pre-prom cocktail is for the parents of the graduates and their children and their dates, that works out to about 20 adults and right now 18 graduates. That number has the potential to grow.
So, my question is...what would the protocol be on this one? This is the pre-prom cocktail and there is a cocktail happening before the actual prom dinner at the hotel where it is all being held.
On one hand I am flattered that the kids want to have it here, I could be cynical:rolleyes: and say that I was the only one that even listened with interest but.... on the other hand I am :eek: nervous about how this will all come off. Does that mean that I have to cover the cost for drinks, snacks, how far do I take it all. The graduates have decided to go to the actual prom in their school bus with their much adored school bus driver and he will pick them up here at our place. They decided the limo scene was over-done!
This type of event involves lots of picture taking apparently and drinks but it is the latter that I am not sure about.
Any thoughts?
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I am certainly with you on that Pearl. I lost my best friend at 16 to a drunk driver. Anyway, another family has asked to host this mini-event since their home is on the way to the hotel. What a relief, since neither of us are comfortable with the situation nor quite sure how to handle it. We know what our daughter is all about and what takes place in our home but beyond that it seems a bit of a stressed start to what should be a fun evening.
Now to figure out what I am wearing to my second 'prom'!!;)
As it turns out, we live in a french milieu but a few of us participating are Irish and I think that as a tip of the hat to our culture we will have some bagpipes and do a non-alcoholic punch and an alcoholic punch plus a few snacks. I have already asked another mom to help out with the snacks etc.
So...I am feeling much more relaxed about this. As I said, it will be the responsibility of the parents to watch their teens with the alcohol.
My crowd enjoyed being able to do lots of under age drinking in La Belle Province. That was a long time ago though. ;)
I feel you are setting yourself up for real problems if you think the parents are going to watch out for the kids drinking. I would never allow and booze at any party on Prom night if it was in my house. I would be terrified that someone would get into it that is not suppose to. I would make only non alcohol punch and leave it at that .
Well, I am in Quebec and alcohol is treated very differently, I believe, than in other parts of the country. People are much more liberal here. OMG!! I bet I see a few people's heads shaking on that comment.....ANYWAY, I did find a parent that has experienced this scenario and got some advice. It appears that it is all quite quick and lasts about 1 hour or so, toasts to the graduates, snacks and music.
As it turns out, we live in a french milieu but a few of us participating are Irish and I think that as a tip of the hat to our culture we will have some bagpipes and do a non-alcoholic punch and an alcoholic punch plus a few snacks. I have already asked another mom to help out with the snacks etc.
So...I am feeling much more relaxed about this. As I said, it will be the responsibility of the parents to watch their teens with the alcohol.
You say that this is a tradition that goes way back. Do you know some other parents who have been through the tradition before who can point you in the right direction on the etiquette of the whole thing? While you "can" do whatever you want, given the tradition of the event, you probably should follow the norm, more or less, unless you are unable. I must say I've never heard of parents going to prom dinners, but I know what you are talking about as far as the alcohol thing goes - sounds like my neck of the woods growing up too.
DBD, I agree, I love the bus idea. Actually these kids do not like to follow the norm and of course over the years they have gotten to know this bus driver who is actually one of their teachers. So, it is a lot of fun that they are doing it this way. It will be hilarious to see them pull up to this lovely downtown hotel in a school bus all dressed up.
Anyway, this is a tradition that seems to go way back. Another thing that I think, not sure, differs from other places is that the parents also go to the prom dinner. Right now parents are busily trying to plan their tables. Personally I would rather not go but you then become the "only" parent not going. Strange, I know.
Of course none of these kids are going to be 18 and for sure there is a relaxed attitude in my part of the world on alcohol in general.
Since their parents will be here I will not be going around checking kids, that will be the job of their parents but I think that they will expect drinks. What if I made up an alcoholic punch and non-alcoholic punch and snacks? Can I expect people to help out a bit with the costs? Is that too cheap?
Seems to me some of those kids won't be of age will they? I'd think the true test of this being a sincere request would be to see what the reaction was to it being no alcohol as it could be a ploy to just get some extra drinks in. If they really want it to be an event, they won't care if alcohol is offered and you don't have to worry about whether you could be held responsible for giving a drink to a minor. It's kind of fun that they are taking the bus. Probably their last trip on it.
It sounds like a lot of fun to attend such an event, maybe not so much fun to host it perhaps. We never had those when I was in school. The girls wouldn't have had time seeing as it took us all day to get ready with going to the hairdressers and all that. To be quite honest I don't think any of us would have wanted our parents around. It seems everything is overblown and over done these days compared to yesteryears. What happens to the parents when the kids go off to the prom? Do they hang out at your house or do they go home?
Maybe you could check with another parent you know and see if you can get some extra hands to help you.