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Why do I give in?

oreokitty's picture
oreokitty

Why can't I say no?

My co-worker is having a scrap book party on Saturday. I mentioned it to my friend to see if she wanted to go. Personally I am not into scrap booking. She wanted to go so bad but didn't want to go alone because she doesn't know this lady. I said I would go.. Hitch is that we have to pay $25/ each for supplies.. I honestly didn't want to go but... I have already commited. Why am I a pleaser?

Are you also a pleaser?

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homebody's picture
homebody

martha doesn't say that quite so much any more...

tryntodecorate's picture
tryntodecorate

You may be surprised and actually enjoy scrapbooking..............I fell into it......last November ...my oldest son was turning 10 ( a decade milestone) and I wanted to put together a book for him showing his last 10 years....before I knew it I was in Michaels and spent $180 dollars getting started.....I had no idea I was scrapbooking...but after many nights in the closet ( was a surprise for the family)..........taping, cutting and designing the layout....I loved it and more importantly ...my son LOVED it....who doesn't like looking at a history of oneself....it was a lot of fun...and I am glad that he has that memory....now the sad part...I have 2 other children...so I best be getting started on their book of memories..........my point to the email....I know you couldn't say "no"...being too nice...but as Martha would say...this may be a "good thing"....LOL.......... :D

obella's picture
obella

I agree with homebody...that is a good idea to introduce them
Without sounding cruel, I would think your friend would know you have no interest and to pay is asking a lot.
She really does have something in common with these people already if they all share the same hobby.
I too am learning...sometimes you deal with a bit of guilt, but that far outweighs spending precious time doing something you have no interest in-

Pearl_girl's picture
Pearl_girl

If you are not to that point where you can say NO right away, then you can say, "let me think about it". OR " I will let you know>"
Then you have time to decide what you want without feeling you are on the spot and have to give an answer pronto. Good luck, it just takes once and you realise how easy it was and so much less stressful. :)

homebody's picture
homebody

Saying No is pretty easy with practice. It wouldn't have been hard for you to say No to the coworker, but once your friend got involved, then it was. Maybe you could have just offered to introduce them, and then split before the scrap-booking got going?

smoodgie's picture
smoodgie

I'm a pleaser-in-transition. I'm getting better at saying No, but it isn't always easy. Although I have to admit that often when I say Yes and wish I'd said No, I end up enjoying doing whatever it is that I didn't think I wanted to do.

Next time an activity comes up, decide for yourself first whether or not you want to go, and THEN ask a friend to go with you. That way, you won't feel obligated to go just because your friend wants to go.

Pearl_girl's picture
Pearl_girl

I learned to say, "sorry I cannot make it or do that" years ago. Makes life so much easier.

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