This is so funny and actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had been gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underwear in a dryer with no Cling Free.
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with the pin hole in it and now goes around the country speaking out about the dangers of watching a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pin hole in it.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
She had a deep throaty , genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like whatever.
He was as tall as a six foot 3 inch tree.
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years has disintegrated because his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
The little boat gently drifted acrooss the pond like bowiling a ball wouldn't.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
I hope you chuckle as much as I did.... :) :p