I was just thinking about the junk in my garage after the last post and something else that I'd like to get rid of popped into my mind, the worst wedding gift.
We received two giant sized prints of herons with peach and teal undertones from a relative for our wedding. These pics honestly look like they were stolen from a Florida motel. They were used, ugly and huge. The worst part is, they are apparently "worth something" (to who I don't know), so we haven't got rid of them yet. The same relative gave $500 to my sister-in-law for her wedding - what the heck? The bizarre thing is that my husband and I are very "sporty" and if you saw these pics, I'm sure you wouldn't think that they were "us". They say it's the thought that counts, but I say what was the thought? Anyway, I'm sure someone can top my worst gift.
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gift we got will be something I'll never forget. I still remember opening the gift wrap...A single raquet ball raquet......I thought what the heck is this, I laughed, looked at the gift card and realized the gift was probably given with alot of thought - misguided maybe but still thoughtful.
The giver was single, shy friend of my husband; a very quiet young man. He looked so sweet that day in his mismatched suit.
We still have the raquet; my children use it to play badminton....
regards,
sweetie
We only had 75 guests at our wedding but we paid for it all by ourselves. It was a wedding on a budget and we made a lot of the things ourselves like the invites, flowers, going away gifts; a friend made our cake and my dress only cost $500. And with all that in mind, it still was expensive to us. I'm not ashamed to admit that I totally appreciated any cash that we got as gifts.
So you don't have to have 300 guests in order for the bills to add up. With this in mind, I totally sympathize with young couples out there who are getting married and paying for it themselves. As a result, I always give cash when I go to weddings.
Did you really wash the car with sweaters that your relative had stamped with your photos? Eeek. I think a gift like that at least showed some thought and caring.
DH is now 41, I am 50, 2nd marriage for me - although the first was 30 years ago! - but neither of us like big crowds or people, or see the point in spending so much money on other people's expectations, so we just had a small family affair, parents and siblings (and their other halves/kids where appropriate) We did not get "engaged" in the traditional sense of the word either !
We were married in a private room at a restaurant, then the family dinner; DH just loves carrot cake, and so our wedding cake was a $20 carrot cake from Costco! We paid for 3 bottles of champagne to fill in the setting of tables for dinner time, but after that it was a cash bar. We chose 2 things off the menu (roast chicken or prime rib - I love prime rib and DH doesn't!) ; wedding cake for dessert. Centrepieces were miniature rose bushes, and were given to the 3 mothers (DH's father has re-married). Not including the rings, we did the whole thing for about $800, paid for it all ourselves, and as we are older and had a few things already and had been living together for about a year and had a few out of town guests, we did get a lot of money (well, a lot to us!) and we bought a new couch and other furniture with it. We made the invitations - DH is crafty and made the paper, and I do destkop publishing so it seemed appropriate - besides, no-one else would have been able to do them to MY standards !
After the dinner, friends were invited to pop round and join us all for a drink; The bride wore an outfit given by a friend, DH was dressed from a thrift store (we are casual people and have never had occasion to wear the outfits again) but both had the biggest smiles !!!!!!!!! And to us, that is what it is all about.
Sorry this is so long, but I had such a wonderful day - oh, forgot to say that groom and best man went to the restaurant on public transit , and my sister gave me a ride in her truck - she was maid of honour.
First time I got married, it was also a small wedding - 29 people sat down for dinner, including the bride, groom and the photographer - who was a very good friend. I have always believed in marching to the beat of the drum I hear in my head, I guess!!!!!! MY ex-MIL thought I was crazy and would regret it, but never did !
are becoming more popular these days. I haven't been to any, but having a cocktail party seems to be an option that some are taking. We considered this, especially since we paid for most of our wedding, but we wanted to have a dance afterwards. To help save money, we had an open bar before dinner and after dinner upto a max. amount of $,then it was cash after that. We figured that our older family members weren't interested in getting smashed and it would just be our friends that would go nuts on the liquor, so if they wanted to drink like a fish they could pay for it. It worked out well for us b/c it kept the cost down and the cash bar didn't start until after midnight. By that time very few relatives were lett. We had a modest wedding, but couldn't keep the numbers lower than 100 because of all the extra family members (divorced in-laws with new families), and that was just first cousins. My parents did exclude a few of their friends, but I have to say, they regret it now. Weddings are tough, and they are even harder with cultural traditions and family expectations. Thankfully for us it wasn't too much of an issue- my mom told us to elope, but I wanted my white dress...
your post reminded me at our reception we had a little girl watching us open all the cards and she was adding all the money we got u and kept screaming out, whoa, $300.00 whoa, $400.00, it was very cute
We didn't get any horrific gifts, what we got was a mischevious 5 year old who took all the cards off the gifts and brought them to me asking if he could have one......needless to say we had a grand time trying to match up the cards with the gifts - and I ended up getting a couple wrong.
strange indeed. I am happy that I didn't have a large wedding - only close friends and family. My impression from this thread is that many people don't like/want to attend certain weddings and feel obligated to do so. What a shame...No wonder people elope or do the Vegas thing.
As far as giving cash goes, I loved some of the gifts I received. It's nice to have things around your home that remind you of certain people, especially if you are like me and live far from friends/family. Giving cash however, is a lot easier for older relatives who don't get out, or for those who get stressed over what to buy.
I have a son getting married in Vail Colorado in Aug 06 and they have about 250 for the wedding and my answer to that was I don't know that many people but her family is in business and they have a lot of social obligations and have to invite so and so because they went to their daughters wedding. My son doesn't know any of the people but her family is perpared to pay for it all so I say let them have it. My other son is getting married in April of 06 and they are having only 25 of the direct family and 1 friend each. They are planning a weekend of events that everyone can partake in. Golfing kayaking and hiking dinner and a simple ceremony. I think it will be a lot of fun.
They don't, this is for the parents. The parents get involved more than the couple and then the couple get blamed for the size of the wedding. Lots of people I know had 200 - 400 people at their wedding, they didn't know them but every aunty, uncle, relative, friend, distant person their parents knew had to be there. It's cultural.
that I'm a little older and we don't get invited to a lot of weddings anymore. (Many of ours friends don't have children either so we don't need to worry about the next generation.)
I know that some people expect that guests will give a gift equal to at least what the meal would cost, and they want that gift in the form of cash. However, to my way of thinking, when I invite someone to a party, it's an invitation with no strings attached, not a ticket that I'm selling them. I don't expect them to pay for the party. So, I guess you can see how I feel about cash gifts .........
As for the comments that the bride and groom pay for their wedding and it's expensive, etc., I have one thing to say - plan a smaller party. That seems fairly obvious. When I hear about those giant weddings with 300-400 guests or more, I wonder if the bride and groom even know all those people. No wonder they get all stressed out planning the big day!
I have been invited to and been told about something that as far as I know only happenes in Ontario and that is a "Stag and Doe" it is solely to raise money for the bride and Groom to help pay for the wedding. I have never heard of anything like it anywhere else. We have Stags and Stagette for the bride but they are solely for the idea of getting the wedding party as drunk as possible not my idea of a good time but happens anyway.
Claudia...don't get offended but i was just stating my opinion and my experience...i too am european descent and so is my DH...i'm portugese and he's italian...from my experience...the invitation list was made up of immediate family first then friends than others...but also the ''high rollers'' were picked out first...and that was on DH's side...there are no ''high rollers'' on my side...my wedding day revolved around making sure everyone had enough food enough to drink and everyone was taken care of...how i was doing was the last thing on some peoples mind...(those people will remain annomus(??sp)...but in my opinion it is about cash grab...maybe not everyone of them but a whole lot of them...the day after the wedding...when we opened the ''envelopes''...a big deal was made about who gave how much...once again that is my experience with european weddings and also my opinion
edit...and most of the time the money/gifts are not used to pay for down payments on houses and honeymoons...they are used to pay for the big event...so that they are NOT in debt for the rest of their life
I am of European descent and I take offence to the "cash grab" comment. I think the general view is more like starting a couple off with a little money to use towards house etc... Weddings can be very expensive and many couples pay for it themselves. It would be a shame to start your marriage off with the debt of a wedding. I don't think couples hit the jackpot or anything when they get married. I think couples should only invite friends and relatives that are close to them so this kind of thinking doesn't wreck the real meaning of the event.
i know people that got cards with a note saying..."Gift to follow"...well 12 years later....ummm...you guessed it....nada...the one thing i have to say is that in my experience...european weddings...is ALL about the gift grab...let me rephrase that...cash grab...you ARE expected to pay for your ''plate'',...and a lil extra if you can afford it...generally the rule of thumb is $100 per plate...atleat is was for mine...but for example if you are going to a wedding and you have 4 people in your family attending then you give $500-$600...$400 of it covers your meal and the extra is for the bride and groom...with our families this is the norm...it's completely out of wack...and totally absurd in my opinion...but that's what you do...cuz you don't want to be the one that they ''talk''about...oh and trust me...europeans...they talk...and talk and talk...we have a wedding to go to in Oct...and trust me my MIL asked me if i still had my wedding cards...(all the amounts of $$$ that people gave were to be written on the card for reference)....so that i could tell her what the grooms parents gave us...10 frickin' years ago... :rolleyes: ...i've moved 4 times since i got married...like i know where the hell they are...if i even still have them...lol....but euro's...all about the cash grab...no question...just my 2 cents
We recently got married so this is pretty fresh in my mind.
We got a box of liqueur filled chocolates. We opened it right away, the chocolates were grey and old. It was the kind you get for $5.99 at walmart at Christmas time. The box wasn't even wrapped, nor was there a card. The guest gave it to us in a Zara shopping bag. The only reason I knew who it was is because I saw him bring it in. They went right into the garbage.
Now that's just plain thoughtless and insulting, I'd rather not get anything from that person than to get that. Now every time I see him I think of those nasty grey chocolates. He's not someone close, thank goodness.
We did get another gift that wasn't up to our taste. One of our friends took a wedding photo of ours and made a golden pillow with tassles and used the photo in a heart shaped cut out, all edged in gold. This is so not our taste at all, but she was so proud of it and spend so much time, we really appreciated it. It's just not on display ;)
We got some things from the older generation that weren't really our style, but we still value the gifts.
My MIL didn't give us anything. She called to RSVP so I sort of suspect that she used the stamp for something else.
And for our shower she gave us what we refer to as "the porno blanket". It's huge and fluffy and has a tiger on it. They sell them out of vans on street corners out here. Plus, she gave one to her other 2 children as well so it wasn't really a shower gift at all.
but if you can believe it I actually bought it myself! I DH had one made of the same material when he was a kid and know we have it in our home, but it is too small to cover both of us while watching movies or for the bit of extra winter covering, so we wanted another one. It's the best because of its faux fur feel. I do have to say that I went for one without the tiger on it though, and I got it from Costco. But, I have seen those vendors before...
it's a good thing the cat was from your mother otherwise you might have been wondering to this day what the cat was all about!
We later saw the same salad spinner at Loblaws on sale for $4.99! :eek:
What a joke!
Mr. Paris
that a Tupperware spinner is $65!
[QUOTE=dustbunnydiva]Your intent was to start a fun list of goofy gifts, I don't doubt that, but if you are wondering where my post and kippers might have come from take a read back. the tone was set in the first post with what went beyond just a mention of what useless (to the recipient) item was received.
Threads can take different twists and turns and this one did way before I commented. A list is one thing, saying things like but someone else got more, implying people were tasteless or thoughtless or cheap is another and that's where the ugly you mentioned started from my point of view.
I meant it when I said the thread was making me queezy. I am not finding it inspiring or humourous to find that some people had expectations, were critical, or felt justified in complaining when someone had offered them a gift. There is something very ungracious in some of the posts and that is what bothers me. I can only hope they are the exception rather than the rule when it comes to brides' expectations and reactions to their guests and gifts.
Maybe you think I made the thread ugly, sorry if you feel that way, but for me, the thread was already ugly and getting more so. Lists are one thing, but adding the extra comments/critisims about the givers took it to a different place for me.[/QUOTE
but I think it is in human nature to compare, whether it is right or wrong. I guess my first post compared what we got from the same relative to what my SIL got. The interesting thing is that this relative asked my MIL if she thought that we would enjoy the heron pics, and she said that she didn't really think so, but we got them anyway. Hence, they have been in our garage for the last 5 years. The relative who gave the pics used to have an antique shop, and these were in her inventory, which is fine by me, just wish it would have been something more akin to our tastes, afterall, I do like rustic antiques. My MIL encouraged us to arrange for a trade, but we just didn't have the courage to do it, we said our polite "thank-yous" and the end. Aside from all that, I think people do give what the want to give. Also, different cultures and generations have different beliefs.
I think you'll find most people won't find getting a 'regift' acceptable at all unless:
a) they don't know it's a regift, and
b) it still shows some thought or feel for what the receiver might appreciate (the whole alleged point of a gift as I understand it).
It would probably be more appropriate to donate unwanted gifts to the women's shelters or other charities who have stores and could make good use of an item.
I don't know for sure, but I thought that the re-gifting thing was a joke. We basically gave our chocolates away whenver we could, twenty boxes of chocolates could land you in the cardiac ward...
I have pics of a table with the gifts and in the center is his toilet seat. :D
of gift that you'll never forget, in fact, I'll be you get a chuckle about it everyday! Kudos to your FIL for his creativity and humour!
I honestly don't think we got anything we didn't like for our wedding.
We got some things from the older generation that weren't really our style, but we still value the gifts.
My MIL didn't give us anything. She called to RSVP so I sort of suspect that she used the stamp for something else.
And for our shower she gave us what we refer to as "the porno blanket". It's huge and fluffy and has a tiger on it. They sell them out of vans on street corners out here. Plus, she gave one to her other 2 children as well so it wasn't really a shower gift at all.
I do not think that a person should feel that they must spend more than they can afford on a wedding gift but just like it is rude not to take a thankyou gift to a hostess I feel that it is rude to not take a gift or one that is totally inappropriate I think you should try to find someone to pair up with and go together. We had some people at my sons wedding that enjoyed the evening and helped themselves to all the hospitality and never brought anything. The kids didn't care they were happy to have them there and they didn't register for anything I was just alittle surprized at the people that did that.
Do tell because that's the first I've heard of it being acceptable in any way shape or form. Oprah did a show on this very thing not long ago and as I recall, the overall opinion was it was just plain tacky.
I think you'll find most people won't find getting a 'regift' acceptable at all unless:
a) they don't know it's a regift, and
b) it still shows some thought or feel for what the receiver might appreciate (the whole alleged point of a gift as I understand it).
It would probably be more appropriate to donate unwanted gifts to the women's shelters or other charities who have stores and could make good use of an item.
We has a small wedding of 40, then moved into an apt. and my FIL hated the toilet seat so he bought a new one and added it to the wedding gifts LOL
I have pics of a table with the gifts and in the center is his toilet seat. :D
Your intent was to start a fun list of goofy gifts, I don't doubt that, but if you are wondering where my post and kippers might have come from take a read back. the tone was set in the first post with what went beyond just a mention of what useless (to the recipient) item was received.
Threads can take different twists and turns and this one did way before I commented. A list is one thing, saying things like but someone else got more, implying people were tasteless or thoughtless or cheap is another and that's where the ugly you mentioned started from my point of view.
I meant it when I said the thread was making me queezy. I am not finding it inspiring or humourous to find that some people had expectations, were critical, or felt justified in complaining when someone had offered them a gift. There is something very ungracious in some of the posts and that is what bothers me. I can only hope they are the exception rather than the rule when it comes to brides' expectations and reactions to their guests and gifts.
Maybe you think I made the thread ugly, sorry if you feel that way, but for me, the thread was already ugly and getting more so. Lists are one thing, but adding the extra comments/critisims about the givers took it to a different place for me.
We got married two years ago.. The oddest thing that we got was a stuffed cat.... ya.. It was from my mother! LOL! I HAD to ask her what was up with that because it made no sence! She accidently gave us the wrong gift... That was suppose to be for my neice's birthday. However, two years later.. I still have the cat.. LOL!
Are the T-s and Pins in bad taste now?
I was about to start planting plastic Herons in the offending colours on lawns across the GTA (for starters - hoping that satellite groups across the country would take up the movement...)
Does this mean I have to stash them for now??
now that's more like it!
in regards to the pins and t's as i find it wasnt an opinion in regards to this post...
as for my wedding, it was 23 years ago...i dont recall getting anything i didnt like....most items have now been used up, i still have some some nice china cabinet items in storage for someday when i get a china cabinet lol and after 23 year still using the same pots and pans
smiles
janetc