I was just thinking about the junk in my garage after the last post and something else that I'd like to get rid of popped into my mind, the worst wedding gift.
We received two giant sized prints of herons with peach and teal undertones from a relative for our wedding. These pics honestly look like they were stolen from a Florida motel. They were used, ugly and huge. The worst part is, they are apparently "worth something" (to who I don't know), so we haven't got rid of them yet. The same relative gave $500 to my sister-in-law for her wedding - what the heck? The bizarre thing is that my husband and I are very "sporty" and if you saw these pics, I'm sure you wouldn't think that they were "us". They say it's the thought that counts, but I say what was the thought? Anyway, I'm sure someone can top my worst gift.
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I had gotten into the spirit of the whole thing and printed up Tshirts and pins that said "FREE MOWONG'S TEAL & PEACH HERONS! - FIND THEM A GOOD HOME NOW!!!"
Are the T-s and Pins in bad taste now?
I was about to start planting plastic Herons in the offending colours on lawns across the GTA (for starters - hoping that satellite groups across the country would take up the movement...)
Does this mean I have to stash them for now??
I agree, because it it's not fun anymore why visit?
that anything that anyone said was "ugly" or impolite etc. Of course everyone is entitled to their opinion, but this was supposed to be a fun post, and it doesn't seem very fun anymore.
The worse part is that this was a family member of mine!! Obviously we weren't that close, otherwise I would have been very upset.
I'm sorry, I didn't see kipper or dustbunnydiva saying anything "ugly". They were merely stating their opinions, and in a very polite manner. I thought the same thing but did not say it. People have differing opinions on message boards - no right or wrong, and all were stated without nastiness. :)
Please don't turn this [COLOR=Plum]FUN[/COLOR] post into something serious! :)
whoa, what happened to light hearted conversation? I never intended for this thread to get ugly. While we all know that special occassions are not supposed to be about receiving valuable gifts, I think that most people are not upset by the actual gift they receive, but rather, are mystified by thought behind giving it. If you put thought into your gifts, you hope that others do too, and when you don't understand their thoughts, that's when you get those interesting things.
I generally tend to give money or buy things off of registries when I go to weddings or showers (unless they are out of my budget), but I usually include something smaller which I have tried to put some thought into. THat way, my gift has some personality, but also helps the new couple get started in the way that they'd like.
That being said, a more humourous tone was intended, hope none are offended too much.
It looks like we are on the same wave length.
I too have a problem with registries. In theory they are great, in practice they sometimes suck. The last wedding I went to, the bride had some very simple requests and the MIL-to-be insisted she change everything to the high end versions (first red flag that MIL may become a problem in my book). It made it very difficult for many people as $50/glass doesn't make for much of a big present when on a limited budget. I also noticed that all the towels and such that were more reasonably priced were taken care of pretty fast.
Unfortunately for the bride, she had listened to future MIL and ended up with many things that weren't from her list. She didn't end up getting a full set of anything much because they just would cost too much for most people attending who mostly were people with new houses, young families, and no where near the incomes MIL imagined. Funny thing was MIL did go out and buy all the missing pieces. Had she just gone and done that in the first place and left the bride to do as she wished, the bride would have been happier with the whole process and I bet so would many of the people who bought gifts.
It's those sort of grabs that spoil it for everyone I think and it's too bad there are people who are out for the grab rather than the sentiment of the event.
DustBunnyDiva and I are on the same wavelength. Well said.
kipper
I don't think I can let this thread pass by without adding my two cents. I'm rather disappointed how a wedding to celebrate two people's love for each other and their life-long union has turned into a gift grab.
I can certainly understand that not everyone shares the same taste in gifts that you do, and some things from the "it's the thought that counts" genre are going to leave you wishing they forgot in the first place. But come on folks, why are you really expecting gifts in the first place? What is it about getting married in this day and age, when the majority of people have lived on their own or with each other already, that they can EXPECT people to lavish them with gifts. It's not like most are just starting out... without a flour canister, or a proper set of sheets.
I find registering distasteful: "I don't want your thoughtful gift, I want THIS instead" Wedding showers are another greedy gift grab.
Entering adulthood should be something you do for yourself, so why are you expecting others to supply your necessities? The same goes for building your "marriage home". That's for the two of you to build up together. Not Aunt Marge and your mother's neighbour you waved to twice in your lifetime.
I have been married for 10 years. I did not have a lavish wedding. I did not expect to recoupe costs of a wedding through the things I registered for. I was married in a lovely park, near a waterfall by a Marriage Commisioner. In attendance was my husband, two witnesses and myself. I did not have a wedding shower ( even though an aunt offered to host one). None of those things appealed to me.
If I had invited friends and relatives to join us to celebrate I would have been very pleased they were able to be there with us. I would not be taking note of gifts, how much they were worth, and whether or not they were blinded by the Bad Taste Fairy when they bought it.
I truly dislike gift giving and receiving for all the reasons I've read in everyone's posts in this thread. I feel disappointment if my gift recipient doesn't enjoy my choice, I feel guilt if it didn't match the worth of other gifts given. I feel annoyed that we even have to go through this in the first place. When did we as a society turn into such greedy ingrates that we EXPECT gifts for simply following the natural path of life: grow up, make a life of your own, and create a life union with mate.
I'm not begruding anyone the celebration of a wedding, lavish or not. This is an event worthy of celebration. But if you're doing it for monetary and materialistic gain, don't complain about the gifts you've obligated people to give you.
Just my opinion
kipper
is making me queezy. Is it just me (or maybe I have missed something in the Ms Manners books) but it seems to me many of the comments indicate an expectation or entitlement or required standard when it comes to what are supposed to be 'gifts'? There doesn't seem to be any heart coming out here as I assume those who offered gifts did so with the best of intentions and yet their gifts are compared to what others gave or got, what it cost compared to the wedding dinner, etc. and so on. I had no idea I was expected to provide a gift equivalent to the amount spent on my being invited to a wedding. I'm supposed to cough up my percent of the wedding costs whether I can afford it or not, whether I deem those who invited me on the same level as say one of my family members or closer friend's weddings? Am I supposed to spend more on gifts based on the elaboratness of the wedding or my feeling for the couple? I had no idea I had to budget more for June weddings than Christmas or an annual vacation and it's making me gag thinking that might be what is expected in some cases.
Guess I'm out to lunch because I thought I was being invited to be part of a nice occassion rather than a cost recovery program and seeing that some folks expect whatever I bring to be exactly what someone has in mind makes me wonder how many people really have those expectations. I guess I'm going to have to be more careful when considering attending a wedding and determine whether it's a grab for money/merchandise or a celebration.
Maybe some folks (gifters) were careless or thoughtless, but maybe the others provided what they could afford, what they thought the people would like or need, or what they sincerely thought appropriate and I feel bad for them that they are being scoffed at to some degree.
I know most people end up with some weird stuff at weddings (as happens on birthdays, Christmas, and every other gift giving occassion), I guess I just find this expectation directly said or implied in some posts a little disheartening when it comes to what I thought the occassion was about and what gifts are about.
"They were great for washed the car ....."
I thought that would be considered a nice gesture on the part of your m-i-l - considering you did not give her much advance warning about the wedding and she flew across the country to attend.
an this is why my hubby & I got married by the Justice of the Peace in a park on Friday the 13th. No family hassles. Total cost for the wedding - $200 maybe. Been married over 13 years. I didn't meet his family for 3 years since they lived at the other end of the country. We laugh about it.
Maybe expectations for weddings and Christmas has gotten a littel out of hand. It's a commitment to each other. I find things have turned into a big show, then you get divorced.
PS oh I lied. My husband had broken down & called his family we were getting married, so my mother in law unexpectedly flew out for the wedding. She later gave us matching sweatshirts with a picture of us on the front saying our vows. They were great for washed the car .....
The worst wedding gift that we got was nothing, zilch, nada!
Most of our gifts were cash but there was one person who gave absolutely nothing and had no shame to sit down and enjoy a delicious 5-course meal! I would like to say that this person was inexperienced at weddings and didn't know any better but that's no excuse!
a card or something? That's a bit ballsy...
It's funny when people re-gift something and you know they re-gifted it (especially if it was from you in the first place), but they don't know that you know it's regifted...is this getting confusing? My mom gave me a pair of ug socks one year for Xmas, I told her I probably wouldn't wear them so she kept them, low and behold, guess what I got again next Xmas! I told my mom that she already tried to give me the socks last year and we had a good laugh.
When I was an elementary teacher I got all sorts of chocolates, mugs and knick knacks for presents, the and one can only have so many of these things in one's house so I must admit, there was the occasional regift or tack on present. The chocolates were great for those "uh oh, I didn't get you a gift but you got me one" presents.
Yup, regifting is the fashion now. If you don't like it, pass it on. Perhaps eventually someone will receive it and love it! Tell your new d-i-l that it is quite acceptable to regift it too.
Hope the wedding went well and you had a great time!
probably would have looked good at my wedding...
The worst wedding gift that we got was nothing, zilch, nada!
Most of our gifts were cash but there was one person who gave absolutely nothing and had no shame to sit down and enjoy a delicious 5-course meal! I would like to say that this person was inexperienced at weddings and didn't know any better but that's no excuse!
I'll have you know my husband had one of those clocks when we first moved in together. He was very fond of it, and was quite annoyed with me when I refused to allow it to be hung. Now it took me years to very discreetly throw the blasted thing away. I'm sure he thinks it's still packed away somewhere just waiting until he has the perfect spot to hang it. :)
It was china and it stood about a foot off the ground, all in lovely tones of brown and muddy green. We also received a set of plastic things that you stamp your toast with. They were heart shaped. That was the whole gift. Might have set them back 49 cents!
the re-gift, nice, very nice...
I just got back from my sons wedding this weekend and they did get a few odd things but mostly money. The one that wa sthe worse was a salad bowel on a stand and the bowl was so big you would have to feed 100 people also a carving knife set that came from her
Aunt and her Mother said she saw it at her Aunts wedding gifts last summer and thought it was cheap then. So the ?Aunt gets a cheap gift and turns around and gives it away to her niece a year later nice eh.
We didn't receive anything too terrible, the worst would be cheap candleholders from people we didn't know very well. I have never used either.
was there any explanation for the kaleidascope? They are kind of neat though- do you want to trade for my heron pics...
that most of my wedding gifts were cash or off of our registry. there were some doozers though. one that comes to mind is a gold and bejewelled kaleidoscope. what the hell did they think we would need this for? the sad thing is that this was a GROUP gift. so 3 separate people had the opportunity to say, hmmmm, maybe towels or dishes or anything useful might be better than a freakin' glittery kaleidoscope! i didn't get it at all! :confused:
yeah, I was crushed. DH tried to be mad at me, but he couldn't pull it off with a striaght face. However I did let him keep the painted bride and groom bunnies his grandparents made us in the living room (on a very high shelf) Yikes we got some really hideous gifts, but them we got some really great ones too. (Love my kitchen aid!!!)
urban_girl...don't you hate when that happens.... ;)
a statue (about 16" tall) of a cowbouy roping a steer from some of DH's relatives. They are very country people so it made sense but it is not our style at all. Sadly it was dropped during rearranging a closet one night and never left the box it came in. (Oops)
I didn't receive this, but my friend did. I'm not really sure what it is called, but it is that plastic grid like stuff that people use a big needle and yarn to stitch the plastic together. Anyway, whatever it's called, my friend got a kleenex box cover made out of orange and brown yarn and a few other knick knacks made out of the same stuff. If she had received from her granny it wouldn't be so odd, but the gift came from one of her friends in her twenties. Kind of ranks up there with those crocheted toiletpaper/ doll thingys.
can't say i didn't like any of our gifts...we got ALL cash...oh wait and a patio set...so nope...mine were all good
lol - after you have been married long enough, moved enough - some of those unfogettable gifts get sorted out of your life.